This really happened
So I was at college one day minding my own business when this girl, couldn’t be more than 12 years old flipped over the security gates and punched me in the nose. I asked her why and she said “fuck you idiot! You know why!!” Then it dawned on Me. She saw my “pearl from Steven universe” hoodie and flew into a murderous rage!!
“Don’t you know that pearl is a homophobic abuser!!”
Then the security guard woke up from his nap and took off his wig to reveal “he” was really her grandmother in disguise!
“How can pearl be homophobic is shes gay you fucking dumbass!” Grandma shouted!
Then she arrested her grand daughter for trespassing and attacking strangers and all the students and faculty started clapping, even the service dogs barked with triumph.
Later granny winked and sent me her favorite SU fanfictions