YEH BET YER ASS I CAN

Most of them are rated M. I try to stay away from WIPs but there’s a few on the list. This is also gonna be a really long list because I’m trash, by the way.

Pig Latin - Eggsy injures himself so he lives with Harry while recuperating.

Russian Amber Imperial - Harry gets Eggsy ready to go to an opera.

A Gentleman’s Guide to Popping One’s Cherry - Basically virgin!Eggsy getting banged.

Mock The Meat It Feeds On - Harry gets jealous. Harry is also in looooovvvveeee.

Bite - A mesh between Firtherton and Hartwin. A/B/O. Eggsy goes into heat on a press tour.

Under My Skin (Tried So Not To Get In) - Eggsy makes out with Harry on a mission, to hide from bad guys. Things get heated.

Fitting Room One - Harry watched Eggsy get measured for his suit. Fucking ensues. 

Typecast - REALLY ANGSTY. Merhartwin. Harry’s got a type, and it fits Eggsy to a tee. Eggsy thinks Harry and Merlin are only with him for his looks. WIP.

On and On (and On) - Merhartwin. Threesome. Subdrop at the end.

Eggsy Takes Care Of Everyone (But Himself) - Fluffy Merhartwin.

Good Cop, Bad Cop - Merhartwin. Eggsy likes Harry, who’s with Merlin. Merlin is an asshole sometimes.

Fallout - D/S AU. Eggsy is really a Sub and has a subdrop after V-Day. Merhartwin. WIP.

How (Not) To Get A Dad’s Blessing - Lee lives. Harry and Eggsy flirt. Lee is creeped out.

With Long Steps - Eggsy gets pissed at Harry and goes of and (to Harry’s knowledge) gets himself killed. Angsty with a happy ending.

The Cat’s Out of the Bag - Angsty as fuck. Happy ending. Also Merlin is a cat loving fuck.

How It Is (For Us) - Merlin is like “Haha Harry there’s a surprise for you” and Harry is like “No fuck off” and Eggsy is dumb.

Stretchy Boyfriends and Innuendos - Harry forgets to take his glasses off and poor Merlin gets an eyeful and Harry is SHAMELESS.

Don’t Mean a Thing - Really cute ballroom dancing.

Inopportune Moments [Series] - Basically Harry and Eggsy dancing around each other.

The Danger of Missing Small Details - God!Eggsy and God!Harry

In the Darkness, I See - Eggsy is blind and Harry takes care of him. WIP.

A Little More Every Minute Since This Morning - Harry and Eggsy are in love with each other and they’re also dumb.

That Kind of Movie - Groundhog Day AU. Eggsy’s POV.

We Are Faking It - Eggsy and Harry play college professors and lovers.

Kingsman Prompts - A bunch of short prompt fills.

Yes I can! Here’s part one for you guys just in case you haven’t seen it.

Only As Directed - Eggsy has to seduce a mark named Harry. His Harry is right there in his ear guiding him

The Parting Glass - So much angst. Harry returns after V-Day and, predictably, Eggsy is upset. 

You’re My Nation (Indefinite Leave To Remain) - Another really angsty one. Harry and Eggsy get into the habit of post-mission sex. Eggsy always leaves shortly after, Harry doesn’t want him to.

Dear Galahad - AU. Harry runs a newspaper column about how to be a gentleman. Eggsy writes to it often. 

Ficlet Friday Ask: Hartwin House Hubby - AU. Just a cute little fic about Eggsy being Harry’s stay at home husband. No one at Kingsman knew about Eggsy, but adore him once they meet him.

Ficlet Friday Ask: Hartwin Planning a Wedding - AU. Another silly little fic. Lee Unwin is alive, and Harry has fallen in love with his son. Michelle maybe a little bit wants to kill Harry.

Mirror - “And then there’s Eggsy, naked, sitting on Harry’s lap with his legs splayed awkwardly to either side of Harry’s, flushed and nervous and so, so out of place.” Poor, self conscious Eggsy. 

Harry Hart Really Is a Big Softy - Tooth rotting-ly sweet. Harry and Eggsy babysit Daisy

Make Me Better - Kinda sad.  Eggsy buys Harry a yorkie puppy one year for Christmas, a few years after JB has passed on (at a very old age). Harry, being Arthur, is home alone frequently when Eggsy is off on missions and Eggsy worries.

En Avant - Fem!Eggsy. Basically how the movie would have went if Eggsy were a girl. WIP.

Say It One More Time - Eggsy and Harry having a rocky start to their relationship but they make up for it in the end (If you know what I mean).

Reluctant Vampirism and other ‘Minor’ Inconveniences [Series] - Eggsy becomes a vampire. Harry and Merlin are also… not exactly human. WIP.

Double Helix - PWP. Imagine Harry having a twin. Imagine them fucking Eggsy’s brains out.

Until Then - SAD. A/B/O. Soulmates. Harry meets Eggsy as a child, Harry figures out he’s Eggsy’s Alpha. Harry has to leave Eggsy behind that day, and years later he comes back to Eggsy with a proposition. WIP.

A Treasure Under the Sea - Ah, yes. The selkie fic. Harry is a pirate, Eggsy is a selkie that saves his life and later joins Harry on his ship. WIP.

To Give Unasked -  In which the Kingsmen are a big, happy, polyamorous family of Doms, and Eggsy is their sub.

10,000 Tomorrows - A bunch of one shots

Servants to Our Crown - Prince Gary of Brogue is to wed King Harry of Oxford. Eggsy is grumpy about it. WIP.

Summer Heat - Merwin. Merlin and Eggsy are on a mission and Merlin is basically like “I know you want this fine piece of ass.” and Eggsy is like “shit he’s on to me”.

Boum Boum Boum - Eggsy wearing Harry’s shirt. Harry approves.

Please - Merwin. Eggsy gets spooked at the look Merlin gives him in the parachute scene. It reminds him of the looks Dean used to give him. Merlin notices his apprehension. 

The Crashes Are Heaven For A Sinner Like Me - A/B/O. Everyone thinks Eggsy’s a Beta, so it was of great surprise to everyone when he presented at the age of 24. In the middle of a meeting. At the Round Table. Slight twist on the usual A/B/O dynamic, one will only present if in a safe and secure environment, which Eggsy did not grow up in, so he never presented. WIP. A little Dub-Con for the first chapter.

Primed - A/B/O. Eggsy and Harry are on a mission to shut down an Omega trafficking ring. Eggsy goes in as an Omegan slave, Harry goes in as a Prime Alpha. (Primes are basically like Super!Alphas or Super!Omegas). WIP.

Avia - Wingfic. Soulmates. There are 3 classes, depending on wing color. Eggsy was supposed to be a Nadir (lowest class), as both his parents were. He comes out a Pinnacle (highest class), with golden wings instead. WIP.

Suitable - Royalty AU. A/B/O. Eggsy and Harry are in an arranged marriage. Harry is, however, already mated to (and carrying the child of) Merlin. WIP.

No One’s Word and Nobody’s Promise -  With Harry’s life hanging in the balance as Arthur’s final ‘fuck you’ to Merlin, Harry’s lover of nearly two decades, Eggsy decides to try and effect a kind of intervention. It goes a bit differently than he had planned, and the future holds promise again even though there are no guarantees. Merhartwin. WIP.

Sorry there’s not a lot of Merhartwin in this, fics with them are pretty hard to come by :V

LES GO

Whenever a new Arthur is chosen, its a rule that each individual member of the round table has to go in and negotiate his or her contract. Roxy goes in first, and sees Harry, missing his left eye, sitting stoically at the head of the table as if he hasn’t been dead for the past 9 months. She’s in and out fairly quickly and Eggsy is next. She can’t really give him much warning, so he walks in and sees Harry and goes stock still. Merlin has shown up around that time to make sure Eggsy doesn’t react badly and try to beat the shit out of Harry. Eggsy doesn’t really react at all, though. He walks into the meeting room and stares at Harry, his mouth opening and closing a few times as if to say something, but he doesn’t. He barely talks to Harry at all. The whole meeting is just short “yes sir” and “no sir” answers. At the end of the meeting Eggsy quickly stands up and leaves without so much as a second glance. 

“That wasn’t so bad” Merlin says, trying to lighten the mood

“Oh no,” Harry says, “I’m afraid its much worse.”

Harry debates for a while whether or not he should go looking for Eggsy. After about 3 hours of pacing and looking out over the yard from his large windows, he decides to go find him. After wandering the halls, finding no sign of him, he finds his way to Merlin’s office. Without so much as looking up from whatever it is that he’s working on, Merlin tells him that Eggsy is in the gym.

Harry creeps around the gym for a while, kind of afraid to see Eggsy. If Eggsy didn’t punch him in the meeting, he figures there’s a significantly higher chance that he will now. He builds the courage to go in and he sees Eggsy at a punching bag, just wailing on it. Eggsy’s covered in sweat and missing his shirt and it makes Harry swallow but not now Harry he approaches Eggsy, who has his back to him, and Harry quietly flanks around him until he can see Eggsy’s face and he’s crying. It looks like Eggsy’s been crying for a while too because his eyes are red and there’s tear tracks down his face and it makes Harry’s heart hurt.

Eggsy finally notices Harry, he quits attacking the punching bag and they just stare at each other for a minute. Eggsy makes no move to hide the fact that he’s been crying. He doesn’t care. Eggsy backs away and goes to get his shirt that laying a few feet away and he wipes his face with it, slowly stalking up to Harry in the process. 

“I fucking hate you, you know.” Eggsy says in a quiet, dangerous voice.

“I know.” Harry responds quietly. In any other situation Eggsy’s tone would send shivers up his spine, but not now. Now he has to focus.

“You said you would come back and sort everything out Harry.” Eggsy says, voice losing its bite. “You never came back.”

“I’m here now, yeah?” Harry tries. He knows it’s no good now.

“I mourned you. We all did. You died… I thought you died thinking I was a failure. That I can’t do anything. That I was a fuck up and-”

“Eggsy,” Harry cuts in, “No. I never thought that. You were never… I was upset. You were never a failure, Eggsy. You’re wonderful, you know. I’m proud of you.”

“O-Oh?” Eggsy’s face displays surprise before he hides it, but Harry saw it.

“I was always proud of you, even before V-Day.” Harry sighs. “I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but I’d like to try to earn it, if you’d let me.”

“And how would you go about doing that?” Eggsy replies, confusion and suspicion mixing in his expression. 

“Would you like to go get dinner with me tonight? As a celebration, for you becoming Galahad. For me becoming Arthur. What do you think?”

Eggsy tilts his head as if in thought. “You askin’ me on a date?”

“If you’d like it to be.” Harry tries to hide his grin.

“Alright. A date it is.”