When you sleep through your alarm but realize your alarm never went off then realize you never set your alarm you just typed “8” into the calculator then passed out.
This is me
Adam & Eve
More you might like
That very faint “Why’re you still eating the apple?” 💀
“It’s the first thing on the syllabus” 🙃
if you have not watched this you need to because this is the explanation for all the fuckery going on today 100% And it is funny funny funny
Still funny lol
😂😂😂😭😭😭
CRINGE Son’s FAIL Report Card Compilation (VERY FUNNY)
God I feel bad for that kid
god i cannot express just how fucked up you are if you watch/give a shit about ‘youtube families....................truly unhinged behaviour
Imagine being a kid and your parents broadcast all of your failures and personal life to the world and you cant do shit about it because you're a child
“british sense of humor” isnt a thing yall just arent funny lmfaooooo
Lol Americans
Americans have literally no banter
why did u colonize 90% of the world
lol idk Just seemed less barbaric than slaughtering millions of native americans, robbing their land, claiming it as my own and buying human beings from across the Atlantic to build my country :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)))))))))))))
idk how to tell u this but…..ur people did that
Anonymous asked:
Hold up, am I a fool or are your eyes two different colors in that picture? Have they always been like that or am I just a fool??
Lol I have a green eye and a brown eye. The brown eye also has pigmentation concentrations (basically freckles) so my iris looks kinda cheetah print haha. They’ve been like that since I was about 6. Before that they were blue
bastardcircus asked:
Yo I feel like you would get a kick out of this, my physics-major friend once drunkenly explained dimensions to me in terms of loaves of bread
It can be done haha! A popular metaphor for explaining the expansion of the universe is the “raisin bread” analogy lol
*kicks the door in of an alt-right’s house and let’s myself in*
haha, what the fuck is this? your “safe space”?
That sounds like a good way to get shot
lol what are you, a gun cuck?
can’t kill a man with your own hands?
this is my FAVORITE post please write “what are you, a gun cuck?” on my tombstone
an LGBTQ coffee shop called lesBean
Or a regular fucking coffee shop because that would be discrimination.
chill bro it’s a fucking pun
Cishets want to be oppressed so bad.
YOU DO NOT FIGHT DISCRIMINATION WITH MORE DISCRIMINATION WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU HATEFUL PEOPLE
“haha it would be funny if there was an lgbt coffee shop called lesBean, get it, because coffee is made of beans and lesbians are made of gay,” said the blogger, as a joke
“DISCRIMINATION,” cry the hoards of contrary tumblr users, eager to express their violent disagreement with this harmless pun. everyone who’s ever been to a gay bar, pride event, or lgbtq organization frowns in confusion; it’s not like they prohibit straight people from entering. anyone can go to these places, they are just lgbtq-centric.
“DISCRIMINATION AT ITS FINEST, THIS IS PURE HATRED,” cry the masses, who have no idea what the word ‘discrimination’ means. roughly five million bees are stuffed inside their assholes. tragic.