Did you go to Elsewhere University?

[Image description:

Cropped image of medieval-stylized printed text, focused on a line which reads: “This wenche thikke”

/end image description]

Thank you for adding this image description! Just wanted to clarify that it’s not stylised, but actual Middle English. The text is from The Canterbury Tales.

Okay, had to track it down. It’s from the Reeve’s Tale, and it’s a description of a 20yo young woman:

This wenche thikke and wel y-growen was,
With camuse nose and yën greye as glas;
With buttokes brode and brestes rounde and hye,
But right fair was hir heer, I wol nat lye.

In modern English (had to look up “camuse”, so that’s as good as my source, but I know the rest)

This wench was thick and well-grown
With a pug nose and eyes grey as glass;
With buttocks broad and breasts round and high,
But right fair was her hair, I will not lie.

The fact that Chaucer had “big butt” and “I will not lie” within two lines of each other is causing me disproportionate amusement. Also the fact that “this wenche thikke” works equally well in Middle English and in modern slang.

nice to know people have always been fokin hornby for thikke wenches

might as well tell the story behind that

so, my dad’s birthday is coming up, and since he doesn’t text, ever (he’s luddite that way), i text my mom: “hey, can you ask dad would like for his birthday?”

her response is “well he really likes your animals, why don’t you draw (our real-life dog) in that style?”

now bear in mind my mom doesn’t get what i do, or my dad for that matter, so i figure that she doesn’t understand the ramifications of that suggestion. she doesn’t quite see how slapping two hands and a pair of breasts on our real-life dog would be fucking weird. but note also that it was a suggestion that she came up with, not him, so i reply:

“can you just ask him yourself”

she responds “i was just giving you an idea, why don’t you ask him”

“he never texts”

“i will tell him to text you”

and that brings us to

so the lesson is, my mom knows my dad’s tastes much better than i do

this vine is 1000 times funnier in text form

this is the new meme for February, y’all

famous vines in text form

Four female ghost busters? The feminists are taking over!

DU DU DU-

IM AN ADULT VIRGIN

CHRIS!1! Is tHaT A WeEd?!

No, this is a crayo-

I’M CALLING THE POLICE!111!!11!111

*BEEP BEEP BEEP*

911, what’s your emergency?

You better watch out

You better watch out

You better watch out

YOU BETTER WATCH OUT

YOU BETTER WATCH OUT

YOU BETTER WATCH OUT

sO i’M SiTTiNG ThERe

Barbecue sauce on my titties

STAHP

I COULD’VA DROPPED MY

Croissant

Look at the buns on that guy!

This is the comedy police, the joke was too funny.

I’M NOT GOING BACK TO JAIL!