relatable deaths from ancient times
- chrysippus: died laughing at his own joke
- zeuxis: died laughing at his own art
- aeschylus: stayed outside in his old age to avoid a prophecy that he would die from having something fall on his head, died when an eagle thought his bald head was a rock and dropped a turtle on him to break its shell
- plato: partied too hard
- empedocles: jumped into a volcano to prove that he was immortal
- philitas of cos: was such an incredible pedant that he wasted away while studying erroneous word usage
- saint lawrence: roasted alive during christian persecution under valerian, joked that he was done on one side and needed to be flipped over
- didius julianus: purchased the roman empire in an auction, ruled for 9 weeks, executed for being ineffective leader
- petronius arbiter: sentenced to death by nero, opened his veins while enjoying a sumptuous dinner party, edited his will to list all of the reasons he hated nero
tag yourself, i’m philitas of cos
