I love it when I click on a recipe link because it sounds yummy and instead of a recipe I get a several page dissertation on a food blogger’s boredom with her marriage and lies she was told in childhood
this ending in a recipe literally changed my fucking life i thought i was being spread some fucking truisms abt the ugliness of marriage but it was literally a preamble to creme brulee brownies. writing is fake
As a college student, currently really hungry with nothing to eat, I understand how hard it can be to get food. Sometimes you really just don’t have the money to eat and when you do, you waste it all on fast food instead of stocking up on cheap things because you’re so tired of Ramen Noodes and canned food you could barf. So, I’ve composed a list of recipes and resources that will fit a college kid’s budget and appetite. Don’t go hungry! <3
I’m a really good cook but only with cheap food. Give me a frozen chicken patty, Swiss cheese, and some lunch meat and I will give you a chicken cordon bleu. Give me a ramen bowl, some leftover meat, and an egg and I will give you miso
Like I know how to eyeball things and add spices and ingredients to make good and complex flavors but of course 90% of being taken seriously in the culinary world is having a fuckload of money and pretentiousness so my cooking with cheap food that everyone can access ‘doesn’t count’
I made a more advanced recipe here for all y’all that want something that looks more like a tide pod here, but that recipe is… intricate. So for all y’all who want just a simple detergent pod like these juicy looking packets, I’m here for you!
Two components: edible plastic and juicy inside
First, the Plastic:
Ingredients:
2 packets (14g) Knox unflavored gelatin
6 tbsp water
Parchment paper
rectangular brownie pan
optional: ½ tbsp 7up or sprite
Instructions:
Boil the water, add gelatin mix (optional: add soda for flavor). Stir in until mix is completely melted. Let cool slightly. Cover brownie pan with parchment paper, and pour a very thin layer of gelatin mixture onto parchment. Place brownie pan into fridge and let sit overnight until hardened.
The next day, the juicy inside:
Obtain your favorite flavor of jello. Follow the instructions on the jello mix to make the jello, but don’t put it in the fridge. Let cool until room temperature.
Put it Together:
Remove edible plastic from the fridge and gently remove plastic from parchment. Cut into 5x2″ rectangles. Fold rectangle in half to create 2x2.5″ rectangles. Seal together long ends and use indirect heat to melt sides together. Leave the short end open. Pour room temperature jello into pouch and seal final end with indirect heat. Let cool in fridge a few hours, and then enjoy.
forbiddencronchforbiddencronch
If any of you guys really have feelings for tide pods please use this recipe and don’t eat the real detergent pod. Stay safe friends!
I knew what this recipe was going in. You don’t see a recipe bragging about how few ingredients it uses and think “surely this will be delicious.” You think “It’s 1 AM and this looks like a vehicle to carry sugar into my body.” So none of what I’m about to say is on Ms. Davison, or her recipe.
There is a place in Terry Pratchet’s Discworld called the Great Nef desert. This is a desert so dry that even water isn’t wet in the Great Nef. Within this desert is the Dehydrated Ocean, a body of water in an uncommon fourth state of matter. This dry water forms silvery grains and resembles a powder more than a liquid.
There is a kind of wizard in Discworld called a hydrophobe. These wizards are raised from birth without ever coming into contact with liquid water. They are sustained only by the dry water from the Dehydrated Ocean. The result is a fear and hatred of water so ingrained that it allows these individuals to literally repel water, which is then used to power hover craft for crossing lakes and oceans.
When I first read this description in The Color of Magic, years ago, I wondered what kind of food the hydrophobes ate. When a hydrophobe sits down to their breakfast of corn flakes and a mummified orange, with what do they butter their stale, overdone toast?
Finally, in the pile of yellow dust I pulled from my oven after 7 minutes at 180 degrees Celsius, I have my answer.
So what cheek do you have at commenting that British food is basically shit. And yes I’m British and we don’t all drink tea and speak posh oh no. That’s due to the area you live in.
Oxfordshire=posh
London= cockney
Midlands= northern
Welsh= north
And Scotland northern
And the food depends on what area you get your food from different areas have different ideas on food such as Scotland haggis and deep fried Mars bars.
So just don’t Diss British food, you’ve probably never tried it.
Try and defend that British food all you want but the toxic sludge looks at least like it could plausibly have a stray flake of pepper or grain of salt hidden somewhere in there