Oh Jesus no. Starting one antidepressant is already playing with fire, I can’t even imagine the shitstorm 4 antidepressants would bring upon me. I think at that point my brain would just turn to dust or I would have the human equivalent of the Windows Blue Screen of Death, whatever that would be.

I’m currently on Effexor, which worked fine until the stress of the semester picked up, and it was like it just stopped working. Effexor aint shit against stress. So the appointment was to see if I’d gotten any better and haha no I did not. I think I might have scared the doctor with how bad it’s gotten. 

So I’m in the process of switching to Cymbalta. On top of that Xanax to manage anxiety and put me to sleep. And then medical grade topical antibiotics for my acne because I’m a stressed piece of shit and stress makes my face break out and I look disgusting and it’s made even worse because I have acne excoriee 

nyet effexor  

I’m switching from Effexor to Cymbalta currently as well as being put on Xanax and hoo boy. Xanax puts me in a coma, I can’t take it. I’ve been exhausted constantly. Effexor worked for me until I got stressed and then I might as well had been not taking it at all. Haven’t tried Cymbalta yet, I’m still stepping down the Effexor.

The only way I can sleep but not be in a god damn coma is for me to get high on ~1500mg Benadryl, which sounds awful. It’s a deliriant. But it just. Works.

oh man okay so effexor isn’t supposed to interact with antihistamines (like benadryl) but for me it does and i accidentally got high off my fucking face on benadryl.

Benadryl is a deliriant, a hallucinogen, it will blur your vision, numb your body, make it feel like gravity is 10 times stronger, and the hallucinations are almost exclusively the stuff of nightmares. the devil, shadow people, hearing people whispering and screaming into your ears.

It’s like a 12 hour long sleep paralysis nightmare