The real college experience
- Depression nap at noon
- “I haven’t been to that class in 2 weeks lmao”
- sometimes ya just see ppl crying and that’s okay
- sometimes ya just see ppl napping and that’s okay
- DOG DOG DOG DOG DOG SOMEONE IS WALKING THEIR DOG ON CAMPUS THIS IS NOT A DRILL
- “Is it free?”
- “will there be free food?”
- profs walking in late, hungover in pajamas
- profs saying the fuck word and the freshies being surprised
- *prof walks in 15 minutes late* “y'all want some milk duds”
- a second Depression nap
- finding a lost temple in the middle of the campus gardens and using it as a study and napping spot
- seriously why has no one else found this spot
- accidentally getting locked into a building because you studied until 3am and you have to escape through a fire escape on the second floor
- Hammock Squad™
- witnessing a mental breakdown at least once a semester
- IHOP at 2am with the squad
- having to throw away your favorite water bottle because it smells like the alcohol you drank that one time you almost died on homecoming week
- the apartment 2 doors down is having a party and they saw you walking to get your mail and invited you and now you’re drunk and sitting on the floor with their dog
- The Weed Smell
- The First Crossfaded Experience
- everyone’s gay
- that one prof you become best friends with and ppl wonder if y'all are fuckin but in reality y'all are probably just chillin and watchin cowboy bebop or some shit
Wait I got some more
- Plowing through tour groups because they’re taking up the whole sidewalk
- Idk how it happened but someone snuck an entire live fish into the fountain by the library
- All of your silverware and plateware has been stolen from the cafeteria
- “Who can sneak the biggest thing out of the caf without being caught” (currently the record is 5 whole pineapples)
- Students walking to class with a blanket tied around them like a cloak
- St Patricks day being on a week day which means you WILL witness people getting trashed in the middle of class
- a second mental breakdown
- sharing a chegg account with like 12 people
- Smoke alarm goes off in the dorms, no one actually leaves
- Your one friends roommate who you have only interacted with when you’re both trashed. You have never seen each other while sober
- Spare bedroom in the apartment? No. It’s the weed room now.
- Playing Russian Roulette with parking enforcement because the meter spots are filled and you dont wanna go park in the commuter lot and walk a half mile to your class.
- “will the test be curved?”
- There is no such thing as friends in the laundry room. All bets are off. It’s every man for himself
- This assholes dryer has been done for 30 minutes so his shit is getting dumped on the laundry room floor
- The Sock Pile™
