See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Ex Astris Scientia

27. Astrophysicist, writer, artist. Michigan. Business inquiries: kaijunobiz@gmail.com

the-hermit-tm-deactivated202001 asked:

Oh man, do I have a hamster story for you. I used to work for a big box pet store, in the grooming department. The store manager came in and said a woman had purchased a hamster, left it in the car in the shitty little TEMPORARY cardboard carrier while she went into another store only to come back to discover it had chewed out and was somewhere in her car. He asked me to find it. So I go out there, get on my knees on the asphalt and look around under her seats. 1/2

2/3 I spotted him under the passenger seat and scooped him up in the chewed box. With a speed that would make the fucking Flash jealous, he hopped up onto my hand and sank his nasty yellow fangs into my right thumb. Blood cascading down my arm, I grabbed him with my left hand (STUPID) where he proceeded to bite my left thumb. So I’m walking back into the store with blood running down both arms with this fuzzy demon clenched in my fist. The woman who purchased him saw everything, by the way.
3/3 I manage to get him into another box and explain to the woman that she should probably not buy this hamster. She’s completely unphased by what has transpired and says he’s a gift for her god son. So I gave her the demon who’s box still had a little bit of my blood on it and she goes about her merry way while I go and wash the blood off of my hands, forearms and elbows. TL;DR: Hamsters suck all the dick, do yourself a favor and get a rat instead.

I have hamsters and while some of them are sweeties, they’re all fucked up. They’re so fucked up