Ex Astris Scientia

biscuitsarenice

“Here in the Pacific, 200 metres down, we enter an alien world… This is barreleye a fish with a transparent head filled with jelly so that it can look up through its skull.” - Sir David Attenborough

Blue Planet II

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napdapdotcom

chalkandwater

Sir David Attenborough demonstrates the accuracy of the Mozambique Spitting Cobra’s venom streams by wearing a chemically treated visor that makes the venom turn purple on contact.

From Life in Cold Blood

frosidon

DAVID ATTENBOROUGH IS MORE HARDCORE THAN ANY DOCUMENTARIAN CAN POSSIBLY IMAGINE.

DID CARL SAGAN DO ANYTHING LIKE THIS SHIT? I THOUGHT NOT. BILL NYE? FUCK NO.

BEAR GRILLES IS A PIECE OF SHIT COMPARED TO THIS CARAMEL-VOICED ENGLISH BASTARD.

SIR ATTENBOROUGH IS A BILLION YEARS OLD AND HE WILL NOT STOP. HE IS THE TERMINATOR OF NATURE DOCUMENTARIES. HE’S CLIMBED TO THE TOP OF THE HIGHEST JUNGLE TREE TO LOOK AT LILIES. HE’S SOARED IN THE SKY IN A GLIDER WITH VULTURES. HE CROSSED THE PACIFIC TO SEE WHALES. HE’S EVEN BEEN TO THE BOTTOM OF THE GODDAMN OCEAN TO TALK ABOUT THE SPOOKY-ASS SHIT THAT LIVES DOWN THERE. KILIMANJARO? BEEN THERE. NORTH POLE? BEEN THERE. SAHARA DESERT? BEEN THERE MULTIPLE TIMES. FUCKING VOLCANOES? BEEN AND DONE. FUCKING AUSTRALIA? ENTIRE SHOWS THERE. HE WILL NOT STOP. HE WILL NEVER STOP. NOT UNTIL HIS SMOOTH-ASS FATHERLY VOICE AS TAUGHT US ALL ABOUT ALL THE NATURE FOREVER.

frivolouscake

reblogging today as appropriate

fr0ttagecheese-deactivated20180

sententiola

[Video of venerable TV naturalist David Attenborough standing amid vegetation. On a near-horizontal branch above his head is a brown and yellow greater bird of paradise, about the size of a crow, with big floaty yellow plumage puffing out along its back.]

Bird: Pwuk. Pwuk.
Venerable TV naturalist David Attenborough: This, surely –
Bird (hopping along the branch): WUKWUKWUkwukwukwukoooh. Oooh. Oooh.

[Cut. Same shot.]

Venerable TV naturalist David Attenborough: This, surely, is one –
Bird: Kark kark kark kark kark kark kark kark kark kark kark kark kark kark kark kark kark kark kark kark kark kark kark kark kark kark.
Venerable TV naturalist David Attenborough: This, surely –

[Cut. Same shot but the bird is on the other side now and venerable TV naturalist David Attenborough has his hand on the branch.]

Bird (hopping up and down on venerable TV naturalist David Attenborough’s fingers): Eh-eh. Eh-eh. Eh-urrrr. Eh-urrrr.
Venerable TV naturalist David Attenborough: Close up –
Bird (hopping away from him): Tiktiktiktik. Tiktiktiktik.
Venerable TV naturalist David Attenborough: – the plumes –
Bird (hopping around): Huek.
Venerable TV naturalist David Attenborough: – are truly –
Bird: Huek.
Venerable TV naturalist David Attenborough: – exquisite.
Bird: Huek. Eh-eh.
Venerable TV naturalist David Attenborough: The gauzy –
Bird (hopping and spinning on the spot): HukWUKWUKWukwukoooh. Oooh.
Venerable TV naturalist David Attenborough: …

[Cut. Same shot but the bird is back on the original side of the branch.]

Bird: Aark.
Venerable TV naturalist David Attenborough: Of course, by the eighteenth century –
Bird: Ehhh.
Venerable TV naturalist David Attenborough: – naturalists realized that birds of paradise –
Bird (hops across to the other side of the branch)
Venerable TV naturalist David Attenborough: – did have –
Bird (hopping back again): Krrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
Venerable TV naturalist David Attenborough: – legs. Even so –
Bird: WUKWUKWUKWukwukwukooh.

[Cut. Same shot.]
Venerable TV naturalist David Attenborough (apparently trying to tickle the bird’s tummy): – by about the eighteenth century –
Bird (hops away and spins round)
Venerable TV naturalist David Attenborough: – and so –
Bird: AAAAAK AAAK AAAK AAAK AAAK AAAK AAAK AAAK AAAK AAAK AAAK aaak.
Venerable TV naturalist David Attenborough (wearily): … Very well.

[Cut. Same shot.]

Venerable TV naturalist David Attenborough: – but Karl Linnaeus, the great –
Bird (vibrating rapidly on the spot and then flapping its wings): PWAAAAAAAK.
Venerable TV naturalist David Attenborough: – classifier of the natural world –
Bird: AAAAAUUUH AAAUUUH AAAUUUH AAAUUUH AAAUUUH AAAUUUH AAAUUUH AAUUH.
Venerable TV naturalist David Attenborough: – when he came to allocate a scientific name –
Bird: …
Venerable TV naturalist David Attenborough: – to this bird –
Bird: …
Venerable TV naturalist David Attenborough: – called it –
Bird: Wooo-ooo.
Venerable TV naturalist David Attenborough: – wooo-ooo –
Bird (surveys the surroundings with a dignified turn of the head)
Venerable TV naturalist David Attenborough: ‘paradisia apoda’: the bird of paradise –
Bird: Hoooo.
Venerable TV naturalist David Attenborough: – without legs.
Bird: Eh-eh.

[Close-up of the bird.]

Bird: WUKWUKWUKWUkwukwukwukwukoooh. Ooh.
Bird: Ooh.

[Fade to black.]

speciesofleastconcern

reblogging for transcript

video

fuckyeahdavidattenborough

sententiola

Bird: Pwuk. Pwuk.
Venerable TV naturalist David Attenborough: This, surely –
Bird (hopping along the branch): WUKWUKWUkwukwukwukoooh. Oooh. Oooh.

[Cut. Same shot.]

[Cut. Same shot but the bird is on the other side now and venerable TV naturalist David Attenborough has his hand on the branch.]

[Cut. Same shot but the bird is back on the original side of the branch.]

[Cut. Same shot.]

[Close-up of the bird.]

Bird: WUKWUKWUKWUkwukwukwukwukoooh. Ooh.
Bird: Ooh.

[Fade to black.]

premierbonheur

Officially the only good post on tumblr

jhameia

I’ve been planning to teach students how to describe videos and write transcripts and I shall save this post for this very purpose.

why-animals-do-the-thing

Sharing for the perfect transcript.

watching that deep ocean docuseries narrated by david attenborough while high on hallucinogens changed my life

oldschoolbeauties

oldschoolcelebrities:
“David Attenborough and daughter, 1958
”

hugeasslesbian

margary

My tour of sadness through Megacon.

so-i-did-this-thing

Omg

notnights

I CANT BELIEVE IM LOOKING AT A COSPLAY OF THAT ONE BIRD GIF

garbage-senpai

omg

elodieunderglass

IT’S NOT JUST A BIRD GIF IT’S A VERY IMPORTANT BIRD OF PARADISE CALLED THE SUPERB BIRD OF PARADISE, IT IS FAMOUS BECAUSE OF BBC’S PLANET EARTH HOSTED BY DAVID ATTENBOROUGH OKAY

JESUS

IT STARTS THE DANCE AT 2:05

THE COSPLAYER DOES A SPLENDID JOB OF PERFORMING THE MATING DANCE AS SCRIPTED AND I THINK THAT’S VERY IMPORTANT

HERE IS WIKIPEDIA’S FRANKLY SPECTACULAR JUSTIFICATION FOR THE DANCE

The species has an unusually low population of females, and competition amongst males for mates is intensely fierce. This has led the species to have one of the most bizarre and elaborate courtship displays in the avian world. After carefully and meticulously preparing a “dance floor” (even scrubbing the dirt or branch smooth with leaves), the male first attracts a female with a loud call. After the curious female approaches, his folded black feather cape and blue-green breast shield springs upward and spreads widely and symmetrically around its head, instantly transforming the frontal view of the bird into a spectacular ellipse-shaped creature that rhythmically snaps its tail feathers against each other, similar to how snapping fingers work, whilst hopping in frantic circles around the female. The average female rejects 15-20 potential suitors before consenting to mate.

THIS COSPLAYER HAS TRULY CAPTURED THE SPIRIT OF THE BIRD AND ITS DANCE AT EVERY LEVEL