Jeff Goldblum rates Hot Tubs, Watching Jurassic Park on Acid, Attractive Cousins.
Posting this just to hear Goldblum say, “Eyelash merkin.”
Jeff Goldblum is a gift
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I don’t know what is the wildest bit about this; Jeff Goldblum’s tweet, or the fact that Mark Hamill apparently liked it
Mark Hamill is the one who freed him
so the fact remains that jeff goldblum played the grandmaster with absolute peak perfection and absolutely no other mcu performance can top that, which is just a fact, but it means that either jeff goldblum has this fantastically nuanced understanding of this character who is incredibly ancient and powerful but still ultimately a silly hedonist OR he just rolled up to thor ragnarok like ‘i’m jeff goldblum and i’m gonna be playing jeff goldblum’ and fuckin nailed it
the fact that they actually wrote the role for him makes it even better because that means the execs were like “who should play one of the most powerful characters we’ve ever had, the ruler of an entire planet, who is more ancient and knowledgable than a literal god, and decides the lives and deaths of countless individuals” and the conclusion they came to was “jeff goldblum in a sparkly gold bathrobe”
Anonymous asked:
Why the FUCK does everyone like Jeff Goldblum so much??? My sister is obsessed with him it's creepy. My mom and I don't understand cus like he's just so odd and he's 65, three times her age!! Why do so many millennials like him????
HES HOT AS SHIT BOYEEEE
a list of current immortals
- florence welch: probably like 200 BCE celtic queen
- keeanu reeves: 1500 renaissance hoe
- jeff goldblum: late 1800′s i would guess
- harry styles: fairly new immortal, 1970′s
- lorde: 1920′s flapper era
- hozier: man who even knows, rough estimate is like, 400 BCE
- john mulaney: 1930′s/40′s, still bitter about the great depression probably and if he could put it in a bit with out being #exposed he would
- paul rudd: newest to the immortal club, didn’t age past the 1990′s
I feel like this list is forgetting Sir Patrick Stewart who I believe has not aged since 7000 BCE.. After all his twin brother was the Kennewick man..
as a self-appointed expert on Hozier, i would say that date is possibly accurate.
many of Hozier’s songs reference being buried in the earth (In a Week, Work Song), and some are directly inspired by bog bodies (Like Real People Do, Run). two of the most famous Irish bog bodies, Old Croghan Man and Clonycavan Man, are dated between 392 and 175 BCE, and both are speculated to have been kings ritually sacrificed to the goddess of the land. in Take Me to Church, Hozier demonstrates a willingness to offer sacrifices to a goddess, and in Foreigner’s God, he thinks fondly upon the image of a pre-Christian Ireland (“when the land was God-less and free”). as well, Old Croghan Man is estimated to have been about 6′6, and Hozier is about 6′5.
the only possible flaw in this theory is that in a Facebook Q&A (here at 5:28), Hozier says that he is over 3000 years old. 400 BCE only puts him at ~2400. it could be that after so many years he’s lost track of how many thousands, but another possibility is that he is more contemporaneous with an older bog body, the Cashel Man, also presumed to be a sacrificed king. that would put him closer to 4000 than 3000, but again, we could forgive an immortal for getting his millenia wrong.
in any case, it seems likely to me that Hozier is an ancient Irish king who was ritually sacrificed to the old gods, but somehow returned (possibly through intervention by said old gods) to give us music subtly hinting at his experiences.
this hozier addition is frighteningly detailed and I’m here for it
Thank you, cryptid Tumblr, for always having the best answers.
JEFF GOLDBLUM CAST AS GRANDMASTER IN ‘THOR: RAGNAROK’!
Wait, what
My mom is obsessed with the 1980 movie The Legend of Sleepy Hollow bc it has Jeff Goldblum in it and she was talking about rewatching it for the annual, like, spooky movie marathon we have and I’m ABOUT to call the cops on her because she said “He’s Ichabod Crane- no- how would millennials call it… Thicabod-”