by Jason Parker
Devils Spring System, Florida
27. Astrophysicist, writer, artist. Michigan. Business inquiries: kaijunobiz@gmail.com
For visitors and writers alike.
Feel free to add to the list if you feel like I missed something.
Some things to add from a native northerner moved south who’s surrounded by people who know fuck-all about harsh winter weather:
(I’ve been reading so many posts about earth being Space Australia the Death World that I didn’t even notice there weren’t aliens in this one until my third read-through, so I’m counting it for the blog theme.)
Florida
On the Cracked podcast they were talking about why we get so much crazy news from Florida. Apparently most states have laws that conceal details about crimes from the media, but not Florida. In any other state they would only know that an assault occurred, but in Florida they have instant access to the crazy details. Stuff like this probably happens everywhere, but we’ll never hear about it.
It took me longer than I’d like to admit to realize Manatee is a city name.
WHY IS IT ALWAYS FUCKING FLORIDA?!
Election drama? Florida! Hurricane? Florida! Bath salt zombies eating people’s faces? Florida!
My drag persona
Welcome to the stage ….
So, um, this sounded fake. I googled it and she’s a real person. In florida. And, rather amazingly, her arrest was not drug related.
>Florida
Florida Man’s wife.
Bold of you to assume Crystal Metheny needs a man
If you’re not ready to fight an alligator over your best friend dont even think about coming to Florida
Apex predators
Yooooo
Florida culture is living in a real life Jurassic park yet being more scared of the local people
TBF, you would be too if you’d ever met Florida Man
Hopefully this doesn’t burst anybody’s bubbles, but the video’s fake (https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/did-man-save-friend-from-reptilian-attack/)
Now, by fake I mean: the alligator wasn’t real, it was put there as a prank by some Youtubers, to record people’s reactions. So the guy a) survived, and b) reacted as he would (AKA: fought a fucking alligator to save his friend) had it been real, because neither of them knew it wasn’t.
To quote Snopes: It appears that the “elbow drop” move was actually a real, good-faith, and quite courageous response to an uncomfortably realistic and relatively low-effort prank
Ok but like…. that still doesn’t change the fact that this absolute legend genuinely thought an alligator was about to eat his friend and he ELBOW DROPPED the fucking thing to save him!!!! That’s some true ass friendship right there
No people or animals got hurt, guy got to try and elbow drop an alligator, and his friend got to find out just how ride or die his friend is. As far as I’m concerned this makes the whole thing better.
His current plan is to boost Florida’s economy by investing in city infrastructure and green energy, to give back to the middle class that, he believes, kept Florida running, and wishes to further protect from climate change by investing in both state wide and country wide green policies. Russell also wishes to dismantle discrimination in his state and country, protect families and workers through affordable housing and wages, to address gun reform and the use the new bipartisan background check act, and, finally, wishes to institute reproductive rights for all and focus on women’s issues in the state.
developed by students at the University of Applied Sciences in Salzburg, Austria
Platforms: Windows, Mac
“A pacifistic exploration art game.”
“The player slips into the role of a mighty forest god to restore the harmony in a mesmerizing forest and relieve it of a mysterious infestation. This shuddersome, mothlike infestation is drawn to the conflicts of the forest’s inhabitants.
“Through observation and by using the abilities of nurturing and withering fascinating plants, the player can solve said conflicts. NIVA’s scenic art style, relaxing music and simple but intriguing game mechanics invite you to explore the forest and have a rest from the stressful everyday life.”
[Download on itch.io] | [Visit the Website]

Some of the gifs made from a video by @tookipalooki