Ex Astris Scientia

I made $800 in the stock market today ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

better than losin ayyy lmao i took my casino money and invested it

Guys!!

So I don’t know about anyone else, but I’ve always been interested in playing the stock market. The thing is, I’m poor. So I never thought I would get the opportunity to try and invest and make a little money. But then I found an app called Stash. You can invest as little as 5 dollars, and the app is designed for beginners!! It bunches the stocks together into groups and explains what they are to you. It shows you the stock’s profile, how well it’s doing, ect. You can also set what stock groups you see based on your financial ability, so like if you’ve got some money to spare you can invest aggressively or you can invest in less volatile stocks and play it safe.

Another thing I like about it is that it has a library of informational articles about investing built into the app! And you can set up auto deposits every week / biweekly and it’s really cool? Like I’ve been using it for a couple weeks and have already made a few bucks, which is super cool. Plus, it’s a great gateway to getting you involved with the stock market.

Another awesome thing: I was offered a deal here, everyone who signs up (18 or older and must have a bank account!) will get 5 bucks to make their first investment, and I’ll get 5 dollars to invest too!

Here’s the link to give it a try: http://get.stashinvest.com/jessicaulal9

If y'all have any questions totally feel free to message me!!

stash ref

kaijuno

Guys!!

kaijuno

So I don’t know about anyone else, but I’ve always been interested in playing the stock market. The thing is, I’m poor. So I never thought I would get the opportunity to try and invest and make a little money. But then I found an app called Stash. You can invest as little as 5 dollars, and the app is designed for beginners!! It bunches the stocks together into groups and explains what they are to you. It shows you the stock’s profile, how well it’s doing, ect. You can also set what stock groups you see based on your financial ability, so like if you’ve got some money to spare you can invest aggressively or you can invest in less volatile stocks and play it safe.

Another thing I like about it is that it has a library of informational articles about investing built into the app! And you can set up auto deposits every week / biweekly and it’s really cool? Like I’ve been using it for a couple weeks and have already made a few bucks, which is super cool. Plus, it’s a great gateway to getting you involved with the stock market.

Another awesome thing: I was offered a deal here, everyone who signs up (18 or older and must have a bank account!) will get 5 bucks to make their first investment, and I’ll get 5 dollars to invest too!

Here’s the link to give it a try: http://get.stashinvest.com/jessicaulal9

If y'all have any questions totally feel free to message me!!

kaijuno

Someone said this was an ingenuine post because it sounded like a pre-written monologue and that I was being sponsored for it (lmao I wish) so allow me to use more “casual language”:

Hey fucksticks y'all wanna make some cash by doing adult shit made simple?

This idiots-guide-to-the-stock-market style app lets you invest as little as $5, which is perfect for poor college bastards like me

It’s got a glossary right in the fuckin app that tells you what the fuck to do because we all know none of us know shit abt stocks damn what’s up @ stash

plus they got a sick deal rn where when u sign up with the link provided u get five whole fuckin bucks to invest hell ya

Y'all wanna be the next warren buffet and live to 120 yrs old because you prey on the poor and the stock market? Download this app now ya minge

toebeanz

makingdonalddrumpfagain

eatingcroutons

Found a source for this one - it was originally posted privately by Emily Parker, software engineer, formerly of the US State Department, Wall Street Journal, and New York Times. She confirms she wrote it (and gives permission for people to keep sharing it) in the comments of another post on her Facebook page.

She also recommends checking out this Twitter thread and this blog post by Aakash Gupta for a more in-depth analysis, as her original comments were only meant to be some general thoughts she shared with her friends.

The comments on the Facebook post linked above also include one of the most hilariously obvious examples of sea-lioning I've ever seen, which Parker gives absolutely zero ground to, if anyone wants a good laugh at a troll utterly failing to get their way

cassianmoonofandor

whatjanesays

Are Wednesdays just gonna be like this in 2021?

So far:

January 6th - The Capitol gets stormed during the Electoral College vote certification … and the idiot rioters liveblog it
January 13th - Trump gets impeached … for the 2nd time
January 20th - Biden is sworn in as the President … somehow the least interesting thing on this list
January 27th - A subreddit bankrupted a hedge fund by … buying all the GameStop stocks

What’s in store for us on February 3rd?

Tune in next week to find out!

kaijuno