"Stock Market's closed, bitch!"- Geoff
Absolutely fucking incredible.
27. Astrophysicist, writer, artist. Michigan. Business inquiries: kaijunobiz@gmail.com
I made $800 in the stock market today ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Britain voted to leave the EU and immediately after the results were in everything started going haywire. My entire twitter feed is full of people talking about how the US stock market is feeling it, the yen is dropping & japan has stopped trading for now, etc.
No mate the scariest part is that the result isn’t official yet. It’s predicted. The votes haven’t done being counted.

jesus christ
So I don’t know about anyone else, but I’ve always been interested in playing the stock market. The thing is, I’m poor. So I never thought I would get the opportunity to try and invest and make a little money. But then I found an app called Stash. You can invest as little as 5 dollars, and the app is designed for beginners!! It bunches the stocks together into groups and explains what they are to you. It shows you the stock’s profile, how well it’s doing, ect. You can also set what stock groups you see based on your financial ability, so like if you’ve got some money to spare you can invest aggressively or you can invest in less volatile stocks and play it safe.
Another thing I like about it is that it has a library of informational articles about investing built into the app! And you can set up auto deposits every week / biweekly and it’s really cool? Like I’ve been using it for a couple weeks and have already made a few bucks, which is super cool. Plus, it’s a great gateway to getting you involved with the stock market.
Another awesome thing: I was offered a deal here, everyone who signs up (18 or older and must have a bank account!) will get 5 bucks to make their first investment, and I’ll get 5 dollars to invest too!
Here’s the link to give it a try: http://get.stashinvest.com/jessicaulal9
If y'all have any questions totally feel free to message me!!
So I don’t know about anyone else, but I’ve always been interested in playing the stock market. The thing is, I’m poor. So I never thought I would get the opportunity to try and invest and make a little money. But then I found an app called Stash. You can invest as little as 5 dollars, and the app is designed for beginners!! It bunches the stocks together into groups and explains what they are to you. It shows you the stock’s profile, how well it’s doing, ect. You can also set what stock groups you see based on your financial ability, so like if you’ve got some money to spare you can invest aggressively or you can invest in less volatile stocks and play it safe.
Another thing I like about it is that it has a library of informational articles about investing built into the app! And you can set up auto deposits every week / biweekly and it’s really cool? Like I’ve been using it for a couple weeks and have already made a few bucks, which is super cool. Plus, it’s a great gateway to getting you involved with the stock market.
Another awesome thing: I was offered a deal here, everyone who signs up (18 or older and must have a bank account!) will get 5 bucks to make their first investment, and I’ll get 5 dollars to invest too!
Here’s the link to give it a try: http://get.stashinvest.com/jessicaulal9
If y'all have any questions totally feel free to message me!!
Someone said this was an ingenuine post because it sounded like a pre-written monologue and that I was being sponsored for it (lmao I wish) so allow me to use more “casual language”:
Hey fucksticks y'all wanna make some cash by doing adult shit made simple?
This idiots-guide-to-the-stock-market style app lets you invest as little as $5, which is perfect for poor college bastards like me
It’s got a glossary right in the fuckin app that tells you what the fuck to do because we all know none of us know shit abt stocks damn what’s up @ stash
plus they got a sick deal rn where when u sign up with the link provided u get five whole fuckin bucks to invest hell ya
Y'all wanna be the next warren buffet and live to 120 yrs old because you prey on the poor and the stock market? Download this app now ya minge
Anonymous asked:
no bc i don’t kno what I’m doing.
In all honesty my knowledge comes from years of experience and Econ classes and odds and ends here and there and also a good bit of luck
And I don’t give people advice on what to do with their money lol I like not getting lawsuits
Found a source for this one - it was originally posted privately by Emily Parker, software engineer, formerly of the US State Department, Wall Street Journal, and New York Times. She confirms she wrote it (and gives permission for people to keep sharing it) in the comments of another post on her Facebook page.
She also recommends checking out this Twitter thread and this blog post by Aakash Gupta for a more in-depth analysis, as her original comments were only meant to be some general thoughts she shared with her friends.
The comments on the Facebook post linked above also include one of the most hilariously obvious examples of sea-lioning I've ever seen, which Parker gives absolutely zero ground to, if anyone wants a good laugh at a troll utterly failing to get their way
Are Wednesdays just gonna be like this in 2021?
So far:
What’s in store for us on February 3rd?
Tune in next week to find out!
Just Gamer Things
This Is A Gamer Only Joke, Don’t Even Try To Understand If You Aren’t A Gamer.
I am not a gamer please explain
SAWD in gamer means: So, Anyone Want Disks? it’s a little gamer humor when you’re bringing some video games over to a friends house.
girl gamer gets saved from troll by girls singing frozen
i then walked out like a sassy bitch
saved by a grandma from a millennial hating anti book grandpa
even the religious people clapped
everyone behind me in gamestop gasped
the entire audience cheered and i got a thumbs up
my birthday was made into a holiday
this is my neighborhood now biatch
some guy tried to recruit me into isis
ive just selected three led zeppelin CDs
you look like you could kill a man
and then i got ten dollars -ben carson
i wish i was alive during the 40s








