So the Homophobic Horse Game (Horse Isle 3) is absolutely THE most batshit MMORPG I’ve ever seen.
The graphics are godawful, the moderation is atrocious, the gameplay is anything but intuitive… but the horses?
Oh, god, the horses!
I don’t think the devs realized that in their attempt to create a shitty homophobic game for horse girls, they had accidentally created an incredible simulator for breeding genetic monstrosities that would make God hide his head in shame. You can make 22.3 hand high giant horses with Diplodocus necks and horses with faces that could slice through meat.
You’re allowed to name your store shit like “the gulag” and “the Kremlin” but mentioning having two fathers or putting your pronouns in your profile gets you permabanned for adult content. There are like six mods total and they disallow discussing politics—specifically recruiting for the Communist Party, but also mentioning the pandemic. (But discussing war crimes is apparently a-ok and family friendly, according to Mod Connie, and some auto-generated, mod-written horse names reference the Heaven’s Gate suicide cult.) Here’s an article.
They also don’t seem to like their own game design, because they ban players for “joining mobs” but have a built-in mechanic that, every hour, invites every online player to mob the same location all at once. They also fill the environment with deep, poorly-rendered (but totally escapable) pits to fall into and build in a feature that allows you to yank people towards you from a distance… but punish players for dragging or summoning each other into them.
Also… a huge fraction of their playerbase is gay and only there to breed Monster Factory horses and it clearly infuriates the mods that they’re not taking their bad horse game more seriously.
Apparently the garbage moderation goes back at least six years and is almost all due to Mod Connie being infamously arbitrary, peevish, and a bigot and obsessive with personal vendettas against individual players, going so far as to look up her enemies’ home addresses and block anyone playing from their locations:
All this is to say the game is fun, in a Boy Mayor of Second Life sort of way, and you should all come play it with me—next Friday, after my ban expires. (After writing this post I got Connie’d.)
Update: they’re so afraid of the gays joining that they insta-banned a new player for having the username “LegalizeTrains”, which they believe is…. promoting drugs…?!
This game is a trainwreck.
