*disguises overwhelming depression and the quiet terror of being alive as dank memes*

Anonymous asked:

Pssst.. hey! *looks around* I heard you got some dank memes.. How much for a hit??

2 dat bois

Anonymous asked:

dank memes

I am the dank meme dealer

unknownhours

milko-vichy

I love how when you first get a tumblr you reblog every popular post and you think they’re all so funny and then your humor slowly degenerates until all you reblog are vague neo-dadist memes that make no sense in reality but by then you’re too far gone into this hell site to even think about what could possibly be funny about vaguely ominous Craigslist ads

Anonymous asked:

my sibling wants 25 dogs, but one of their roommates said that they couldnt have more than 2 so my sib was like ‘okay, only two dogs... and 23 cats.’ i swear to god, if they genuinely get that many pets, i will both be in heaven and in hell because i love animals but i’m like deathly allergic to fur and cats and dogs but i love them so much

Pls just have them make a petting zoo so that I can visit and pet all the animals

kaijuno

kaijuno

Everyone so trusting of dogs. Ppl just adopt random stray dogs and THATs how you and your entire crew gets eaten by a parasitic alien on an isolated antarctic research base you FOOLS 

kaijuno

no no you’re right, there’s no way this dog could be anything other than just a big babie. completely safe to give pets to. anyway come closer

[Pets dogs but in a punk rock kinda way]

i have flea spray for my cats (it’s organic and like no chemicals we good) and the label says “works on horses, cats, dogs, humans, and other pets!” and im fughsn 

im just imagining someone trapping a whole ass person in a bathroom or something and spraying them down while they hiss at you

i dont do that with the cats i put it on my hands and pet it into their fur they actually love it or ill put it on a cat brush and brush it in they go fuckin nuts for that shit

Anonymous asked:

What kind of pets have you had?

Oh boy oh boy oh boy

• rats
• mice
• gerbils
• hamsters
• miniature hamsters
• goldfish
• painted turtles
• parakeets
• parrots
• cats
• dogs
• pigs
• calfs
• crawdads
• ants
• frogs
• toads
• miniature horses
• salamanders
• bobcat, once
• tortoise, once
• deer
• elk
• moose
• buffalo
• gardener snake, as I was rehabbing it

i really love animals

Anonymous asked:

I don't agree about gmos but can we team up to steal dogs/cats from vegans who try and make their pets vegan too bc THOSE ppl need some slaps upside the goddamn head

My question is why don’t you agree about GMOs? I’m genuinely curious.