Gardien
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Walmart after 10pm is such a bizarre other worldly place it’s not real especially the garden center like if you enter the garden center after 10pm there’s a 76% chance you’ll meet your mirror self and they’ll kill you and replace you while your soul is stuck in the Walmart garden center to forever listen to old white ladies complain about their plants they got from a different store dying and them wanting a refund
I’m pretty sure you don’t need to know French in order to understand this comic.
My local garden center had a strict “mask policy enforced by owner’s mother with a garden hose” and the woman really did, and I say this with adoration and aspiring to be like her someday- look like a wizened and moderately sadistic gargoyle perched on her lawn chair with the hose cocked, pressure building behind the nozzle, eagerly awaiting the next asshole.
The Poison Garden
Established in 2005 by the Duchess of Northumberland. The garden contains over 100 deadly and hallucinogenic plants.
’I wondered why so many gardens around the world focused on the healing power of plants rather than their ability to kill… I felt that most children I knew would be more interested in hearing how a plant killed, how long it would take you to die if you ate it and how gruesome and painful the death might be.’
-The Duchess of Northumberland
So this garden was established because a woman knew that they way to get kids intrested in learning about plants was to show them how morbid plants could be. My kind of woman.
do u ever wish you could be like. a greco-roman lady in a 19th century painting. just lounging all day, looking bored. probably got ur tiddies out. thats the life
every neoclassical/early romantic piece of art is the dream honestly like
hang out in this rose garden with your girlfriend while she dumps flower petals on you. nice
alternatively hang out with your whole squad of nymph gfs in some water. just you and your gal pals, and this guy i guess. letting your tiddies hang out and all that
take a nap on these pillows surrounded by beautiful ancient frescoes, what’s not to love
tiddies out, nap game on, divine boyfriend, not a care in the world. these ladies have it so good
Dressed in gorgeous flowing clothes, hair game on point, sitting on warm marble by the seaside, responding ambiguously to yet another handsome suitor’s advances
h*ck yes
I love this era so much.
Napping on outdoor furniture that somehow never gets musty, and it’s warm enough to wear a gauzy nightie.
>acquire land
>plant apple and peach trees
>get beehive
>plant blackberries on back fence
>grow veggie garden
>make mead and wine
??????
enjoy life
Posted from my monastery
me, in bed, still wearing Thursday’s eye makeup, surrounded by empty coffee cups and piles of cat hair, phone on airplane mode, listening to “secret garden” and watching food shows on mute while refreshing the Entire Internet: if only there were some way to know when a bad spell of the ol’ depresh starts setting in
I don’t have scale for just how much fucking manure that is
Well, let’s get a sense of scale then!
When I’m doing garden work and I need fertilizer, I go and buy a bag of Black Kow, cause it’s what they’ve got at Home Depot.
I’ve never bought enough to get the bulk discount, but this guy sure would have. So that’s $4.68 each.
According to some numbers I found on google, and some math of my own, the average sales tax nationwide in 2018 is gonna be just about 6.5 percent. (I also found out that apparently Montana and New Hampshire both just… don’t do sales tax? Weird!)
Anyway, total budget/(price per unit of manure * (1+sales tax)) gives us 200,000/(4.68*1.065), which is gonna be around 40,127 50 pound bags of manure. (so, around two million pounds, or a thousand tons of cow crap)
But wait! That’s just a number! How big IS a thousand tons of poop?
Well, it’s just over a hundred and fifty elephants.
It’s about 25 fully-loaded semi trucks, including the weight of the trucks themselves.
It’s about five blue whales.
If we go by what this guy says in this Seattle Times article, then the pile of manure would easily outweigh the guy’s house.
So, uh, yeah. That’s a lot of poop. But that’s just the weight of the huge pile of cow dung. What about the volume?
Well, the University of Vermont puts it at about 55 pounds of dry mass per cubic foot. Some quick math tells me that’s about 36,500 cubic feet of manure, give or take. Cube root of that gives us a cube that’s about thirty-three feet per side.
So, about that much manure. Of course, manure isn’t gonna stay in a nice, neat pile. It’s gonna spread out into a roughly conical shape. The highest angle at which it’ll rest without falling over is what’s known as the critical angle of repose, which is not something I thought I would be able to find for manure, but there’s a paper I found that gives us a good estimate.
So, it’s gonna be between about 25 and 35 degrees, I’ll split the difference, say 30 degrees. So, we know the angles involved, and the total volume of the cone this’ll end up being. From there it’s just a little bit of geometry and some algebra. (V = π*r^2*(h/3))
That ends up being a cone that’s around 23 feet tall, and 40 feet in diameter, like so.
That’s about how much manure $200,000 will buy you.
Thank you, math side of Tumblr, for this very valuable information
Also, just look at the guy’s FACE in his mugshot
cute date idea: we go to a botanical garden. you point out a flower and i immediately eat it
Elven rings @anthropologyarda ?
what do you think?
They’re perfect! I think these probably would have been made in the Third Age; they have a very Sindar sensibility and motif, but they’re rendered with such fine, delicate craftsmanship I can only think there must be Noldorin influence.
