Prior to the invention of the chewing stick, certainly long before the advent of the modern toothbrush, our ancestors dealt with the detritus stuck between their teeth much the way we do when we’re too busy or lazy to get a piece of floss: by sucking as hard as they could at the lodged bits. However, given that this was their only avenue for relieving the discomfort or even pain of morsels wedged between teeth, it is likely that the muscles involved in this process developed powerfully with regular exercise.
In this essay, I will demonstrate via a large body of paleontologic evidence that our prehistoric predecessors would’ve given the craziest blowies, just some absolute Teletubby-vacuum-suction level dome
I really had no idea where this was going
