What?!
this is so funny to me it literally never occurred to me that british people wouldn't know who oprah is
start your engines
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Spongebob, your under the sea couture left us…a bit dry.
I’m sorry my dear but you are up for elimination.
Josh, your Oprah Winfrey in snatch game was a little… run over
Bugs Bunny, they say it isn’t over until the fat lady sings. Fortunately for you, Latrice Royale is not here.
Condragulations, you are the winner of this weeks challenge.
You have won a trip to scenic Albuquerque, New Mexico.
Have you heard the good word about the Pembrokeshire walrus yet?
This walrus is fucken lost.
But Wales has lost its collective shit about it. They're generally keeping its location secret to keep people away, but we get updates every day if it's still here, if it's happy, if it's healthy. We think it was in Ireland about two weeks ago, which is interesting, because it is not actually native to Ireland either. Why is it here? No one knows.
It seems to like Pembrokeshire beaches.
I regret to inform you all that the walrus is a delinquent.
In attempting to climb aboard a dinghy in Tenby it capsized it.
It then proceeded to Tenby harbour where it tried to climb aboard a fishing boat.
Incredibly, this is not an April Fools
Today on English People RUIN Everything, a bunch of English tourists from Essex and Leeds broke covid-19 regulations and travelled to Tenby over Easter to try and see Wally (so named after Where's Wally) and crowded him with jet skis and surfboards and stuff, so he's not been seen since Monday. We don't know yet if he's moved to a secluded spot again, or left Wales entirely.
But, you know, I doubt we were going to have Wally for much longer anyway, since they need to head back home again at some point. Godspeed, Wally. May your fish be ever plentiful.
The English went back home and Wally came back to Tenby! We stan a true Welsh icon, folks.
Some facts about Wally:
- She is named after Where’s Wally because she is hard to spot
- She was previously in Ireland, and then secluded beaches in Pembrokeshire, but has really taken a shine to Tenby, which is a delightful village
- She has a scar on one flipper but it’s long-healed and doesn’t seem to bother her
- She is the southern-most walrus ever spotted in the wild!
- The current theory as to how she got here is that she fell asleep on an ice floe that drifted south, but she’s not bothered about returning yet
- She’s believed to be two years old
- Her gender is still a bit of a mystery but we seem to be leaning female
This story on Wales Online claims she’s believed to be male, but then uses female pronouns. It also features a video of some Welsh people chatting about Wally, including a child whose first language is very clearly Welsh and by the end of his part is struggling to think of things to say about the walrus in English.
WALLY UPDATE!!
The Western Telegraph has opted for male pronouns, and is being very firm that Wally is male, although other news outlets are still all over the place. But what has Wally been up to the past few days?
- He is rapidly gaining weight, and is still giving no cause for concern to either of the organisations watching him (which are the RSPCA a bit and Welsh Marine Life Rescue a lot; this is funny though because a walrus is so far outside of the wheelhouse of either of those organisations like we’re all just guessing here, lads)
- His delinquent ways have continued - he has now attempted to climb onto multiple buoys (all unsuccessfully) and at one point nearly got a mooring rope stuck around his neck.
- Has he learned from this?
- FOLKS HE HAS NOT!
- He is now a Fashion Icon. He has surfaced multiple times wearing accessories in his moustache. Mostly this has been shells, but three days ago he upped his fashion game by wearing this starfish:
What an Icon.
The photographer of this picture, one Amy Compton who has been Wally’s official photographer since the start, has been making these delightful Wally masks (inset). They sell for £5, of which £1 goes to Welsh Marine Life Rescue. If you would like your own Wally mask, contact her here!
So Mark Hamill, Daisy Ridley, and Adam Driver showed up at the Belfast airport in Ireland. I think my favorite thing about it is Daisy and Adam’s efforts to hide their faces through jackets and sunglasses
And then Mark’s just like HEYYYYY!
freshman year vs senior year
If you’re ever in an Irish speaking part of Ireland (Gaeltacht), and you see a mother with her child, tell her, “Ith an páiste.” It’s a beautiful way of saying, “Your motherhood glows with radiance and grace.” There is no English equivalent for this so give it a go!
last time i trusted an irish guy i walked home at 4am with my bra in my handbag so lets see
ah yes
never trust the irish
It’s just a modest proposal
i have a deep respect for scotland because i was at an ireland vs scotland football match and their chant was “we hate england more than you”
one time at a germany vs scotland game some german fans started the “stand up if you hate england” chant and the whole stadium stood up
WHAT DID WE DO?!
When old people in England complain about all of the immigrants, I always reply:
“Well then perhaps England shouldn’t have run around the planet sticking its dick in every bloody country. Inviting them over for tea is the least England can do.”
“The English have a reputation for invading lots of different countries and then being really annoyed when those people follow them home” - Tommy Tiernan
The USA is doing that rn and is mad at immigrants so some things never change
When did America invade Mexico? Just wondering.
we literally stole texas from mexico bud
This is exactly why history classes are important
This is why history classes with books that DON’T LIE are important.
anyone remember hozier? that wild son of a gun loved church
He recently invaded an apartment block with a bunch of homeless people and barricaded it from being retaken by the cops to protest Ireland’s disgusting treatment of the homeless and highlight the crisis we’re facing
It was fucking awesome
wtf I love hozier now
