During my nap I had a dream that I was a stagehand for a Chris Fleming and Neil Cicierega comedy tour and their brand of humor was just so fucking incomprehensible to anyone at all except maybe you tumblr weirdos like they had a bit where Chris made Neil come back out on stage and was like “let me see those tears!” in a voice like he was talking to a child and then he had Neil put his leg up on the stool and he started pointing out the lack of tears/holes in his jeans and the crowd was going fucking nuts and in another bit Neil was like listing his “top 10 rules” except all of his rules were frozen foods. Number 3 was frozen pie and that was a particular hit with the crowd for some reason.

I had a dream last night where Onision was harassing me and trying to get me to go out with him and y’all on here were telling me to date him for the clout I hate all of you

I had a dream where I had my own office with 3 whole working computers in it except the computer desk and the chairs and the computers themselves were very clearly from the 1990s and the floor had those awful plastic mats except they were all turned upside down and I think I glimpsed my own personal hell

For the past couple nights I’ve had the same dream about this bus crash into a frozen lake/river and the person I was (it wasn’t me but I was seeing from their perspective) was on the bus and just so horribly breaks their leg like the tibia and fibula are both completely snapped in half and twisted around and they’re trying to swim to the river bank with a mangled leg and boy I hope that doesn’t mean anything

Had a dream where my coworkers and I all worked at a high school and I was walking around and it was this massive high school. Like mall of America sized. And it had glass ceilings everywhere and plants and shit and I wandered into this MASSIVE fuck off library. It had glass ceilings and plants and fountains and like 3 stories of books and it was so beautiful I cried

Had another weird dream again with all of my coworkers except we were scientists and the military wanted our science shit to make weapons and this asshole military general was berating us for not giving over our science stuff and was calling my boss a cunt and stuff and like. Military general was typical buff scaryman and I am 5′2 but I just marched up and decked him and he was taken so off guard he challenged me to a 3 round fight and I proceeded to destroy his ass every round in some sort of knowledge triumphs over fear trope

I had a dream where I was back in DC and Thomas Dolby (she blinded me with science guy) was staying at the same hotel as me and I was texting my parents like “dude i think thomas dolby is here too” and they were like “are u sure??” and I was like “hes the only man that can dress like a gayer scientist than i can. its him.”