27. Astrophysicist, writer, artist. Michigan. Business inquiries: kaijunobiz@gmail.com
Me before watching the video: What does “Baws” mean???
Me 30 seconds into the video: BAWS
This makes me think of Recess
Wait…
Isn’t Ed Balls day coming up?
ED BALLS DAY, I HAVE TO GET READY TO CELEBRATE
What’s Ed Balls day?
Omg, okay explanation time.
On the 28th of April, 2011, Ed Balls got a Twitter account. He decided (as most people under the spotlight do) to attempted to look up his own name. However, all he did was tweet “Ed Balls”. This, for some reason, got retweeted by THOUSANDS of people. On a global scale. And because he didn’t know you could delete a tweet it stayed. Every year since then,the 28th of April is Ed Balls day.
This is the infamous tweet
and here are some gems to celebrate that have followed the years, including last year where they framed the tweet and got him to sign it for charity
There are also LOADS MORE in this article from the Telegraph
ed balls
On his cue of “balls away,” Mayor Eric Garcetti released the final 20,000 shade balls into the reservoir on Monday in the city’s effort to conserve water and maintain the reservoir’s water quality. Los Angeles is the first city in the country to use shade balls to preserve its water.
Read More at Yahoo News
R E L E A S E T H E O R B S
National Geographic come check out my fucked up balls
Open RP
“Crikey!” Phantom Steve Irwin mused, in but a whisper, “Come with me on a journey to check out some really fucked up balls!”
The Theme of “Fucked Up Balls Adventure Journey” plays.
All sports are gay and I’ve been preaching this forever
fun fact: the media keeps trying to imply that diego costa (white jersey) bit gareth barry (blue jersey) out of some sort of hetero football-rage during the game but barry insists it wasn’t a bite which is apparently a hard concept for the football association to grasp cause they cant think of any other explaination for the above image lmao
That ain’t no bite
I think my favorite part of this gif is the third guy walking by in the background, who judging by his expression is pretty sure he’s just won the league-wide betting pool on when these dudes will finally break down and admit their love.
romeo and juliet who? west side story who? come thru gareth and diego
And now one of the people who guards the football has tested positive. Great.
Just remembered not everyone knows what the football is.
It’s the briefcase with the nuclear launch codes in it.
The football is passed between five people, one from each of the five branches of the armed forces. At least one of them is within run and tackle distance of the president at all times from what I understand. The guy who tested positive is the one from the coast guard.
roman i cannot tell if you are being serious because we live in a hell-country where this is entirely plausible
Everyone who sees this, I want you to google “nuclear football” right now.
Jesus fucking Christ
im sorry did i just read on google that the usa president is authorized to launch a fucking nuclear bomb at any moment for any reason
Yes? Before today I thought everyone knew at least this part lol. Since like the 1950s the leaders of the then USSR now Russia and the USA have had the ability to launch a nuclear strike at any time. The leader of China and the other nuclear states probably do too. I don’t think other countries have an equivalent to the football? Or if they do then I haven’t heard of it.
This is a also huge part of the reason people want to get Drumpf out of office so badly. Yes there’s the literally everything else but he’s also the one in charge of the big red button right now. Commander-in-chief of the armed forces I’ll remind you. That’s another reason why perceived temperament is really important for a lot of people when choosing the president. We don’t just have to think about this person’s policies. We have to think about whether or not we trust them with the football. The proverbial big red button. The key to ending life as we know it.
Remember that when picking presidents for the rest of your lives, everyone.
What the actual shit. I thought the big red button was just a wacky plot device in tv.
Did people actually think this was fake? MAD is still a guiding philosophy of international relations. We got dangerously close to nuclear war with North Korea in 2017 by the way I dunno if you remember that. A former Trump official said that for days he thought it was going to happen for sure and he spent a bunch of time every day for over a week praying in the national cathedral. This stuff is real.
The codes were actually lost for several months during the clinton administration. They managed to keep that under wraps until 2010
Yep, we were just eight zeros away from nuclear annihilation for 20 years.
And this was actually better than the alternative bc the Generals didnt want a code at all!
Also if youre upset about this… maybe nows not the time to tell yall that the US military is actually really bad at keeping thier nukes safe
Video Link: Top 10 Time the US Lost or Accidentally Dropped Nukes
I don’t think people in the US got this as much as we did over here in Europe and the rest of the football (as opposed to hand-egg) loving world. But this:
is a vuvuzela. The football loving (or just tolerating, or culturally affected by) world met these things en masse during the 2010 World Cup in South Africa. They were mass produced, they were fucking everywhere. They sound like this:
Over wide open terrain, perfect to summon your people for say, village council, which was what the original instrument was apparently used for. The plastic mass produced thing, in close terrain, is perfect to make it impossible for anybody to hear themselves think, let alone speak. Could it be perfect to disrupt a nazi, for instance if you are not able, for whatever reason, to punch him in the face? My friends, it just might be. Because these things were so heavily mass produced, at one point they couldn’t give them away. There is almost certainly still bunches of them sitting around waiting for the opportune moment, and the opportune moment is now.
If you’re someplace where nazis come to hate speechify (campus etc) get one. You don’t have to be super close for these things to be super effective, which is helpful if you’re not willing/able to get close up in somebody’s face - the damn things are just as disruptive from ten metres away.
It’s Vuvuzela revival time.
(Alternatively, I’ve seen collapsible ones on ebay and aliexpress for $2.50 and free shipping. Just saying)
Do you want to be this cool? Only with minimal investment and musical talent?
Vuvuzela Uprising 2017
What about shofars? Obnoxiously loud, sounds like an elephant, and Jewish as fuck. To offend the Nazis even more
….yes. Excellent. If you have one you feel comfortable bringing into such a situation, blast those things with all the air you’ve got in you.
As a side note, since my proposal for the Vuvuzela Revival seems to have taken off a little, please wear earplugs when you do this sort of thing, and please bring a load of those simple yellow foam earplugs for the people around you too. Vuvuzelas are somewhat directional, but you should still be careful of your fellow protesters and their ears.
Nazis though, fuck those guys in the earholes. They can go deaf.
Just to add:
The collapsible vuvuzelas are portable enough that you can keep one in
your bag in case you meet a hate speecher on the go. Whipping it out
and treating his earholes to your weapon of mass disruption uh, I mean singing him the song of your people would be very satisfying.
I’d like to add to please only deploy your vuvuzelas when there is something (like hate speech) to disrupt! Don’t just blast them at protests and become a general pain in the earhole to everybody around you.
Somebody tagged this post with #social justice bard and that’s honestly the first time I’ve smiled today, thank you all for joining me in the vuvuzela redemption arc AU.
Also the description ‘IT SOUNDS LIKE A BOAT HORN AND A CAR CRASH FUCKING’
:-D
when i was like seven in earth years my sisters and i used to get real bad nose bleeds in the winter and we would collect the blood in balls of clay then we would bury them in the yard by the barn so they would be safe and in the summer we could throw them on the side of the barn and make red flower shapes, but then my dog ate them and choked on the clay balls and died :/
“Seven in earth years” yo you a fuckin alien?
