During my nap I had a dream that I was a stagehand for a Chris Fleming and Neil Cicierega comedy tour and their brand of humor was just so fucking incomprehensible to anyone at all except maybe you tumblr weirdos like they had a bit where Chris made Neil come back out on stage and was like “let me see those tears!” in a voice like he was talking to a child and then he had Neil put his leg up on the stool and he started pointing out the lack of tears/holes in his jeans and the crowd was going fucking nuts and in another bit Neil was like listing his “top 10 rules” except all of his rules were frozen foods. Number 3 was frozen pie and that was a particular hit with the crowd for some reason.

My mom’s birthday is the ides of march and mine is 2 days later on st patrick’s day and I was talking to a friend of mine about it the other day and said “oh my mom’s birthday is 2 days before mine” but she must have heard “my mom was born 2 days before me” because it took me about 5 minutes to explain to a full grown adult that birthdays happen every year and that my mother just so happened to be celebrating hers for 30 years before me