Prime example of why being a fanfic writer is painful

star wars fuckery to english glossary: the reader’s digest version

• the star wars universe has no official name but in fandom you’ll see it shortened to GFFA for “galaxy far, far away”
• glass - transparisteel
• metal used in construction - durasteel
• very strong space-plastic (used in stormtrooper armor) - duraplast
• tablet computer (analogous to a PADD in trek) - datapad
• rather than paper, handwriting is usually done with a stylus on flimsiplast (flimsi/flimsy for short)
• holos are 3-d videos or videomessages, recorded and played on a holoprojector (these are often seen in small formats, palm-sized - analogous to like. a GoPro.)
• we don’t drive cars, we drive landspeeders or speeder bikes
• we don’t shoot guns, we shoot blasters
• if you didn’t bring a knife to a gun fight, you perhaps brought a vibroblade instead - an edged weapon that, you guessed it, vibrates. little ones could be called vibroshivs or vibroknives. we actually got to see polearm versions of these in The Mandalorian! it was very exciting.
• robots in GFFA are, of course, droids. astromech droids (astromechs) are the like. iphones of the droid world - ubiquitous, multipurpose, most with a similar aesthetic. R2-D2 and BB-8 are both astromech droids. human-shaped droids like C-3P0 are protocol droids.
• got a papercut? a nasty flesh wound? a missing chunk of your torso, perhaps? slap a bacta-patch on it or take a dip in a bacta tank for a soothing treatment with this all-purpose miracle healing goo. this is what diapered Luke is bobbing around in during the early part of Empire Strikes Back.
• you’re supposed to say kriff/kriffing instead of “damn,” “shit,” or “fuck/fucking,” but this is for cowards. let Obi-Wan cuss.
• midichlorians - ignore them.
• before the Empire comes to power, baby jedi who can’t hack it as knights or are never chosen to be Padawan apprentices become members of the Service Corps, the branches of which are the Agricultural Corps (AgriCorps), Medical Corps (MedCorps), Educational Corps (EduCorps), Exploration Corps (ExplorCorps)
• dates are expressed (typically) as [date] Before the Battle of Yavin (BBY) or [date] After the Battle of Yavin (ABY). for instance, the sequel trilogy begins in 34 ABY.

and, yes: that famous cantina tune from Figrin D'an and the Modal Nodes is in a musical style called jizz. because star wars is incredibly stupid.

• popcorn is called bang-corn, because obviously the earth-centric aspect of popcorn is the popping, not the corn.
  

UPDATE: IT WAS DISCO STAR WARS IM SO HAPP Y

It’s just strange for an Old like me to see this posted without someone knowing what it was.  “Star Wars Theme/Cantina Band” was a #1 hit in 1977, and both the song and the album it came from went platinum.

I loved it at the time, even though I just heard the three-minute radio edit rather than the full fifteen-minute track. I didn’t hear the full version until much more recently.