Okay, it’s the Summer Olympics in Tokyo, 2020. It’s time for the opening ceremony, but the field is empty.

Suddenly, some 500 people in Scout Regimen uniforms jump out and some extremely loud music begins to sing, “SEI SIND DAS ESSEN UND WEIR SIND DIE JAGER!!!!!” and they all begin to zip around w/ their 3D maneuver gear.

Later, a Grell Sutcliffe cosplayer comes out with a massive chainsaw. Some Free! cosplayers do the dance to ‘Splash Free!’

The entire opening ceremony should just be various anime references.

I'll have y'all know that my favorite figure skater's parents told her that to get a dog she'd have to do well at the Olympics and she went and won the frickin Olympics when she was 15💀

Her: I want a dog

Her mom and dad: Yeah sweetie, do well at the Olympics and we'll see

Alina Zagitova: Ok

Summer Olympics: Who can run the fastest? :) Who can swim the fastest? :) Who can do the best somersault? :) 

Winter Olympics: WHO CAN MAKE IT TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS ICE SLIDE OF DEATH AND SURVIVE?? WHO CAN GET AROUND THE RINK WITHOUT GETTING THEIR HANDS SLICED OFF BY EVERYONE ELSE’S FEET BLADES?? CAN THIS GUY DO A 1080 DEGREE FLIP WITHOUT DYING?? 

i’m watching olympic snowboarding and this guy just checked his phone before going down the hill and put it in his pocket.. he brought his phone down the hill at the olympics… this is so chaotic 

If you ever feel bad about taking a longer time than someone else to accomplish the same things, just remember that during the 1912 Stockholm Olympics Japanese marathon runner Shizo Kanakuri passed out in a garden party along the marathon route and, instead of notifying race officials of his inability to finish the race, he went back to Japan without telling anyone and was considered a missing person by the Swedish authorities for 50 years.

He didn’t finish the race until 1967 when a Swedish television station offered to help him complete the run, and he finished with a final time of 54 years, 8 months, 6 days, 5 hours, 32 minutes and 20.379 seconds.