Okay, it’s the Summer Olympics in Tokyo, 2020. It’s time for the opening ceremony, but the field is empty.

Suddenly, some 500 people in Scout Regimen uniforms jump out and some extremely loud music begins to sing, “SEI SIND DAS ESSEN UND WEIR SIND DIE JAGER!!!!!” and they all begin to zip around w/ their 3D maneuver gear.

Later, a Grell Sutcliffe cosplayer comes out with a massive chainsaw. Some Free! cosplayers do the dance to ‘Splash Free!’

The entire opening ceremony should just be various anime references.

I'll have y'all know that my favorite figure skater's parents told her that to get a dog she'd have to do well at the Olympics and she went and won the frickin Olympics when she was 15💀

Her: I want a dog

Her mom and dad: Yeah sweetie, do well at the Olympics and we'll see

Alina Zagitova: Ok

Summer Olympics: Who can run the fastest? :) Who can swim the fastest? :) Who can do the best somersault? :) 

Winter Olympics: WHO CAN MAKE IT TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS ICE SLIDE OF DEATH AND SURVIVE?? WHO CAN GET AROUND THE RINK WITHOUT GETTING THEIR HANDS SLICED OFF BY EVERYONE ELSE’S FEET BLADES?? CAN THIS GUY DO A 1080 DEGREE FLIP WITHOUT DYING?? 

fruit fly diving straight toward the glass of apple cider vinegar mixed with dish soap already littered with the corpses of his kin