Steve Harvey: Top eight answers are on the board, we asked one hundred people, what’s the most common thing you’d find in a home?

Contestant: a penis

The crowd erupts into laughter.

Steve Harvey, mouth agape: hummina, jeez, wow, what the- survey says!

The survey reveals that all eight answers are penis. The crowd is in tears, shrieking with laughter.

Steve Harvey: this can’t be possible, no! No!

Steve Harvey takes out a hammer and begins beating the shit out of the contestant. Audience members begin to succumb to exhaustion from laughing so much. The families look on to the violence, smiling and clapping.

Steve Harvey cries tears of blood as he begins to float in the air, pantomiming the crucifixion of Christ. Audience members are vomiting from laughing, some begin weeping at the miracle presented in front of them.

Steve Harvey, twelve octaves lower than typical: THE PROPHECY

The room is overcome in a harsh tone that rivals the sound of crying, laughing, and applause. Those who have passed out begin to float also baring the imagery of crucifixion.

The ground begins to crumble out from underneath everyone as rays of light shoot from Steve Harvey. A psychic explosion overtakes the entirety of Los Angeles and in an instant it has disappeared. The collective memory of Los Angeles is wiped from civilization, the area that once was has become a giant statue of Steve Harvey giving two thumbs up. Engraved on the plaque at the base of this statue is the word “penis”.