Okay so the absolute uncanniness of this video instilled such a terror in me no piece of horror media has ever done before to the point where by the end of it I genuinely thought I might throw up, and the lack of context really made it extra terrifying because in my shock I really couldn’t tell if the footage was real or not (the candid amateur-esque shooting is impeccable)

So I went ahead and dug up some information and this is actually a complication of clips from of a short (like 6 minute) film called The Centrifuge Brain Project that’s actually quite a humourous piece of surreal horror(??? I’m not sure what to call it really) in the form of a mockumentary. I highly recommend it.

As a personal side note I never considered “scientist-engineer with a questionable level of sanity designing horrifyingly dangerous pushing-the-boundaries-of-physics amusement park rides” was gonna end up on my list of Dateable Types but here we are

This is an Alligator Snapping Turtle. This is why you don’t go swimming in Florida rivers or lakes unless you can see the bottom.

#the person holding this turtle is actually in danger holding it even #if it chose- that turtle could stretch it’s neck to bite the hand holding it #they have terrifying long necks that can reach nearly anywhere around their body

^This is NOT TRUE. Common snapping turtles do have very long necks and can reach most of their body with either claws or mouth…except for right behind the head. The two safe ways to hold a snapper are with one hand directly behind the head and one hand directly above the tail or with two hands holding the shell on either side of the tail. Still do not attempt without proper training/experience though.

Edit: I believe the one in this video is actually an alligator snapping turtle which have comparatively short necks and don’t do lunging, snapping bites the same way common snapping turtles do (which is why the guy has to put the item in the turtle’s mouth for it to bite).

the-awkward-turt is 100% right! I worked with snappers all summer and I’ve been helping them cross the road since I was a little kid… Best strategy is behind the head and above the tail, or both hands on either side of the tail.

Still, if you’re inexperienced and you have to help one cross the road, get them to bite onto a stick and (gently) drag them, or better yet, just use a shovel to pick them up!

Holy shite

No he didn’t

You won’t regret unmuting this.

That’s Kyle Franklin! He’s an amazing stunt pilot, who likes to play the “drunk stealing a plane” routine. Seriously, some of the shit he’s pulling in these flights is truly, utterly terrifying - I love watching it.

Follow your dreams, indeed.

Honestly, this being fake somehow makes it more amazing.
Doing dumb shit whilst drunk, we’ve all been there.
This dude intentionally flies EVEN MORE DANGEROUSLY THAN USUAL for the purpose of making himself look like a drunk taking a chance. That is goddamn WILD.

*snorts*  HOLD MY BEER…

lookit that boy run! O.o