27. Astrophysicist, writer, artist. Michigan. Business inquiries: kaijunobiz@gmail.com
Sorry I haven’t been active a lot here in a few months. I try to keep the queue full but it’s empty a lot. The thing is, between classes and everything going on, I haven’t had a lot of time to be active here. That in combination with the fact that over the past 6 months or so my depression has gotten so severe that I just… I don’t even feel like a person anymore. I don’t feel like I’m piloting my own body anymore. I’ve become so disassociated with myself that nothing feels real anymore. I’ve become so much more reckless with myself and I feel like the choices I’m making aren’t my own. I’ve been living the past 2 months in a complete daze with sparse periods of sudden self awareness that do nothing but reassure me that, yes, my mental health has really become this terrible. I feel like before I can do anything about it, I just… check out again and don’t care anymore. I don’t care about anything. My grades, my relationships, myself. And sometimes people will look at me and go “well it’s not that bad, you’re not self harming or anything.” But shit, I am though. Between alcohol and cigarettes. I don’t even think I like cigarettes, I just know that it’s a more socially accepted self harm than cutting or burning. And my awareness of time is just.. gone. I put alarms into my phone so then I know when to go to classes and eat. I just haven’t been… home.. recently. And I don’t know if I can get help. I don’t know if I want help. I don’t know if I’m going to make it through the semester or hell, even the week. It’s like my higher mental capabilities are asleep and I’m operating only on urges and impulses and those urges and impulses want me to kill myself. And I don’t know if I can get back into control.
There are a lot of quotes flying around and small pieces of the story so here it is so in BRITNEYs own voice in her own words and she specifically asked for this to be made PUBLIC. She wants everyone to know the truth because she has not been allowed to have a voice.
"The conservatorship should have ended when I started working and making them money. I shouldn't be in a conservatorship when I'm providing them"
i think my favorite thing about tumblr right now is that the queue limit is supposedly 300 posts but it’s actually not, it’s really 301 posts, and this is because the queue is an array and therefore obviously zero-indexed but tumblr isn’t using the length of the queue to determine when to stop adding posts, but rather the index of the post you’re trying to add, and the 300th object in a zero-indexed array has a fucking index of 299 but they don’t cut you off til after you’ve added the post with the index of 300 (ie, the 301st post) and that is such a simple, stupid, careless programming mistake and it would be SO easy to fix (it would literally be 1 line of code. one. line.) but the tumblr dev team obviously cbf to bother with it and honestly if that doesn’t tell you the level of care and attention to detail the developers give to their actual fucking product and the amount of emphasis tumblr’s management places upon quality assurance (ie, NONE) then idfk what would. this website is such a joke jfc. @ all aspiring programmers: don’t work for tumblr if you want to like, write good code or learn anything useful. i mean i guess if you’re incompetent and wanna wear your tie as a belt this would be the ideal workplace for you but i’m just saying.
This is literally the first thing you learn in arrays which are like the second thing you learn in introductory programming and they fucked this up I’m screaming
we’re never getting replies back
it’s your own fault if you allow tumblr dot gov to like, taint words like “yearning” for you to the point where you basically develop a “cringe”-based aversion to all expressions of love and tenderness. that’s also a very very funny problem to have and maybe you can get it named after you if you act quick enough
I think the reason my mobile app won’t work is because I always have the queue full. My queue was empty for the last few days and the app worked fine, then I filled it up again today because I’m merging blogs and it won’t work anymore.
I’m gonna empty out my queue real quick to test this, so if you don’t want me to spam you, just blacklist the tag “pretty” for a while
Okay I’m done
I think the reason my mobile app won’t work is because I always have the queue full. My queue was empty for the last few days and the app worked fine, then I filled it up again today because I’m merging blogs and it won’t work anymore.
I’m gonna empty out my queue real quick to test this, so if you don’t want me to spam you, just blacklist the tag “pretty” for a while
I think the reason my mobile app won’t work is because I always have the queue full. My queue was empty for the last few days and the app worked fine, then I filled it up again today because I’m merging blogs and it won’t work anymore.
Like. Okay. The reply inline system they were using before has been used on forums and threads for DECADES. Ever since we first use the computer we see the reply system that tumblr used to have. Our eyes have been trained to read conversations on the internet like that. And then Tumblr applies this new system, of reading a convo the same way we read an article. It doesn’t work because we’re used to seeing a new line, a new indentation, as a new person talking. The new system is set up like an article, without much of a visual queue to indicate that a new person is speaking. That’s my main problem. It’s making everything so much more difficult to read, especially for people with trouble reading. It makes me wonder just what kind of site the staff thinks they’re running. This is not an article site. This is a chat site. Its a conversation site. This is a multiple narrative site. They’re going against how literally every other thread site on the internet goes. They’ve made a horrible move here, in my opinion.
