27. Astrophysicist, writer, artist. Michigan. Business inquiries: kaijunobiz@gmail.com
There is NO reason this should be so fucking funny
I’ve seen this before but I still like it so much that I held my phone in front of my dog so she could see it.
Cis people being upset about trans people saying “down with cis” are just so…
Like oh, you’re upset about a meme? That’s cool. Maybe tell your fellow cishets to stop killing trans people while you’re over there complaining to them about it
then why is it ok for trans people to make jokes or memes about cis people but its not ok for cis people to make jokes/memes about trans people
Because you’re not oppressed. You don’t have to worry about getting killed for being trans. You wont be denied a job or get beat up in the fucking bathroom. Your parents wont kick you out of the house for being trans. Your parents wont make you go to conversion therapy or abuse you for being trans.
And they get this one thing, right? They get this safe space on the internet where they can vent and be themselves and make jokes. ONE FUCKING THING.
But nooooooooo they ain’t allowed to have fuckin jokes because it hurts yalls feelings
Grow up.
Please prove your excistence and teach me about history, I would thank you with my life.
Abraham Lincoln loved cats. He was obsessed with cats. When his wife was asked if he had any hobbies, she responded, “Cats.” He used to take home stray cats on a regular basis. One time he found some kittens on a farm during a military meeting and he put them his lap and petted them affectionately. Then he told the owners of the kittens to make sure they were given warm milk after he left.
Gouverneur Morris once tried to unclog the blockage in his dick (historians think he probably had prostate cancer) by shoving a whale bone up his pee hole, which resulted in death
Charles Adams, John Adams’s son, once got drunk and ran naked across Harvard Yard. He was expelled, but when John Adams spoke to the administrators he was readmitted.
James Garfield was a student teacher at a college in Ohio and he had this really pretty smart student named Lucretia Rudolph but was too afraid to talk to her. So, when they were taking a class picture (a super long ordeal then), he bribed the photographer so he could sit next to her in the picture and finally make his move. They were married a year later.
Please prove your excistence and teach me about history, I would thank you with my life.
Abraham Lincoln loved cats. He was obsessed with cats. When his wife was asked if he had any hobbies, she responded, “Cats.” He used to take home stray cats on a regular basis. One time he found some kittens on a farm during a military meeting and he put them his lap and petted them affectionately. Then he told the owners of the kittens to make sure they were given warm milk after he left.
Gouverneur Morris once tried to unclog the blockage in his dick (historians think he probably had prostate cancer) by shoving a whale bone up his pee hole, which resulted in death
Charles Adams, John Adams’s son, once got drunk and ran naked across Harvard Yard. He was expelled, but when John Adams spoke to the administrators he was readmitted.
John Quincy Adams wore the same hat every day for 10 years.
Also John Quincy Adams kept a live alligator as a present from Lafayette, which he kept in a bathtub in the East Wing of the White House.
Bonus fact: John Quincy Adams would frequently go to the library very early in the morning (around 4) but he would have to go through the guest rooms to get there, so guests often woke up scared by the president quietly sneaking through their rooms in the middle of the night. This grew to be such a problem that a /whole new hallway/ was built just for John Quincy to get to the library and is still there to this day. Thanks Egg President!
Mansa Musa of Mali was the richest man in all of history (and he wasn’t white!!!) and he was so rich and spent his money so crazily that it actually caused inflation in the Mediterranean and the value of gold fucking plummeted in places like Cairo and Medina, he tried to fix it but it took a really long time for markets to recover. So the entire economy of all of the Mediterranean was actually controlled by one guy for a bit and that’s insane
Frederick the Great of Prussia was all about music. He composed four symphonies and more than a hundred shorter sonatas, as well as being an accomplished flute player himself. He spent so much time playing (when he wasn’t beating the shit out of every great European power) that his head was permanently tilted.
At the height of his power cocaine kingpin Pablo Escobar was the 7th richest man in the world with an estimated net worth of $30 Billion. He wrote off $2 billion dollars each year lost to rodents eating his money, and spent $2,500 a month just on rubber bands used to store his cash in bricks.
Former Canadian Prime Minister Pierre Trudeau (Current PM Justin’s father) was the most outrageous of the world leaders (not in crazy politics, but just harmless shenanigans). He slid down railings in public buildings, danced jigs behind Queen Elizabeth’s back and many more. The most notable example comes from the height of the October Crisis in 1970′s (French-Canadian radical separatists kidnap a few politicians for the separation of Quebec). When he was asked about his plans to solve the crisis, he replied “Just Watch Me”
My stomach hurts and I can barely breathe, because I haven’t laughed this hard in a very, very long time. I only learned about this prank less than fifteen minutes ago, but I’m already dead from how ridiculous it is.
Context: Paul Rudd has a history of going on Conan O’Brien’s shows (first Late Night, then Conan) and, when asked to show a clip from his newest movie, shows this snippet of a 1988 movie called Mac and Me (an ET ripoff) that people refer to as “the runaway wheelchair scene.” And Conan falls for it… every time. The exasperation through the years just kills me. Every time Conan thinks that he’s maybe caught a break, it happens again.
He thought that Paul Rudd might have laid off the joke for Ant-Man, in hopes of not pissing off Marvel.
Look at that face. Look at that expression. Look at how resigned and dead he is. This was his chance to get Paul Rudd to actually show a proper clip. Who would piss off Marvel? Who would waste a chance to promo their new movie for a prank they’d already been doing for fifteen years?
Paul Rudd, apparently.
u guys,,,,,, actually want to fuck monsters? like literally actually for real??? u see a huge terrifying monster and think big sexy??? u wanna scary ass bloodthirsty beast to fuck u??? a mothman???? a wearwoof??? VENOM????????????? these arent just memes??? not just jokes??????? u guys arent joking?????????
Adam & Eve
That very faint “Why’re you still eating the apple?” 💀
“It’s the first thing on the syllabus” 🙃
if you have not watched this you need to because this is the explanation for all the fuckery going on today 100% And it is funny funny funny
Still funny lol
😂😂😂😭😭😭
Rat memes are so funny because they’re like horse girl memes in that they’re completely incomprehensible to normal people
No, no, no. Look, I understand people making their jokes during a pandemic, but surely if the same caldera that caused the Ice Age to kick off was becoming active again, y’all wouldn’t be making memes.
Yes we would
The Gays: *make obviously facetious jokes about Gay Culture™️ and how heteros are banned from certain activities and behaviours for fun*
The Heteros: I can’t believe this violent bigotry I have been subjected to this is the worst act of intolerance in recorded history how can you gays hope to attract allies if you continue to use hateful language like this I just literally can’t even *hyperventilates and dies*
The Gays:
Call me a fucking liar y’all.
I love how when you first get a tumblr you reblog every popular post and you think they’re all so funny and then your humor slowly degenerates until all you reblog are vague neo-dadist memes that make no sense in reality but by then you’re too far gone into this hell site to even think about what could possibly be funny about vaguely ominous Craigslist ads
