Some things heard during D&D.
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Oh god all of these are gold
please remind me to roll for erotic literature if we’re ever in a library
“At least I died stealthily”
DnD is like Who’s line with swords. You never know what anyone is gonna come up with
@megatraven Guess which one made me think of you!
BEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!!!!!!!!
[ID a tweet by Ethan Dowden aka theejdude that reads: you may think playing Dungeons and Dragons is about going into dungeons and fighting dragons, but it’s actually me and my friend rolling dice to find out which of us a make-believe horse likes more. END ID]
So our dungeons and dragons group are facing their first ever dragon and I didn’t have a minifigure for it so…
TOOT TOOT
For my 21st birthday we were joking about going bar hopping but playing dungeons and dragons irl So we’d fuckin have like random number generators on our phones and then if we roll a one we have to punch them but if we roll a 20 we have to try to bang them
???????
???????????????????????????
????????????? D:
??!?!????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
D: D: D: D: D: D: D: D:
TARON IS SO EMBARRASSING
me: [reaches the gates of the underworld]
me: [sees cerberus]
me: puppy!!!! puppy! :D !!!! pup
cerberus: :D! :D! :D!
D&D races as john mulaney quotes
Barbarian - *smashes a 40 on the ground and yells* scatter!
Bard - the entire salt and pepper diner story.
Cleric - You have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair
Druid - Aaah! One feels like a duck splashing around in all this wet! And when one feels like a duck, one is happy!
Monk - I’ll just keep all my emotions right here and then one day, i’ll die.
Paladin - for those of you who aren’t catholic, I don’t mean to exclude you (even though we looove to exclude you)…
Ranger - everybody get out of my way. I just wanna sit here and feed my birds.
Sorcerer - this might as well happen. adult life is already so goddamn weird.
Rogue - Stop snitchin’, motherfucker
Fighter - sometimes babies will point at me and I don’t care for that shit at all
Warlock - Fuck da police!
Wizard - I’m either having a drink or I have to pee. You’re living the golden years kid, not me.
i don’t play d&d or anything with dice or w/e but this is the funniest shit i’ve ever seen