also when I did go to the ER the triage nurse was taking my pulse and saw it maxing at like 220 and couldnt believe it for some reason?? Which was odd considering I got fast tracked through the ER because the afterhours clinic thought I could be having kidney failure and she tried taking my pulse like 6 times while I’m hyperventilating and about to pass out in a wheelchair like GIRL move ON

also my brother drove me to the er bc I absolutely could not focus enough to drive myself and he basically kicked me out at the doors so he could go park and bless the random elderly security guard that popped out of nowhere with that blessed wheelchair and was like bitch SIT

I spent 10 days in sicu which is the surgical intensive care unit, because i had necrotic pancreatitis and there was a potential of having to be flown down to detroit for surgery, and on day 5 or so, as this happened mid march, covid hit full force so not only did I have to spend my 23rd birthday alone in isolation on a morphine drip, I caught covid anyway because the nurses weren’t well enough equipped with ppe which could have been a fucking nightmare for me because i was already mega immunocompromised because of all the other bullshit going on but mercifully my symptoms were pretty mild and I didn’t even need to get intubated which is good because i had already puked on the poor nurses who inserted a feeding tube

but on the plus side, whenever i was lucid enough to talk to the nurses i made them laugh with my usual sarcastic deadpan humor which made me very happy because 1. even when im dying im still hilarious and 2. this was when covid first hit and i saw firsthand through my nurses and my own parents who are also nurses that they were living their literal worst nightmare and honestly in those cases dark humor is all you have 

Gingers genetically have a higher pain tolerance and because of that no one really thought I was in that bad of shape because I was so chill. They didn’t realize (and I didn’t realize) that at the time I was so bad I had about an 11% chance at living and even though I’ve now been told pancreatitis is worse than childbirth (I’ve heard this from multiple mothers) I was just like. Sweating profusely thumbs up still not dead lmao

Also speaking of pain I have a pinched nerve in my elbow that makes my left ring and pinky finger numb and according to the doctors I should be in a lot of pain because of the way the nerve is pinched and I literally feel nothing. No pain at all. My fingers are just numb and that’s it

It’s just weird having to remind myself that on the pain scale I need to go to the ER when I’m like a 6/10 instead of a 9/10