one time at a germany vs scotland game some german fans started the “stand up if you hate england” chant and the whole stadium stood up

WHAT DID WE DO?!

When old people in England complain about all of the immigrants, I always reply:

“Well then perhaps England shouldn’t have run around the planet sticking its dick in every bloody country. Inviting them over for tea is the least England can do.”

“The English have a reputation for invading lots of different countries and then being really annoyed when those people follow them home” - Tommy Tiernan

The USA is doing that rn and is mad at immigrants so some things never change

When did America invade Mexico? Just wondering.

1846

we literally stole texas from mexico bud

This is exactly why history classes are important

Originally posted by veepdaily

This is why history classes with books that DON’T LIE are important.

For anyone wondering, it was in fact meant to be "sovereign on a sovereign" 🤦

OOH OOH I KNOW THIS ONE! so in the elizabethan era queen elizabeth couldn’t appear like she was having That Time of the Month in front of the male members of her court, and you bet your ass if she had to remain in the public eye while she was bleeding from the snatch then the rest of the female courtiers did too. because they didn’t have handy dandy tampons back in the day, they would basically shove a rag down there and inevitably bleed onto the inner layers of their clothes. she what did they do? changed clothes. about eight times a day to be precise, and they did that all month long, so none of the delicate male constitutions would be offended by unseen yet implied bloody lady parts. this is part of why fashion was such a huuuuuge cultural item (and the secondhand clothing industry was such a huge part of society) because they had to appear like they were just doing it out of vanity/showing off their wealth. this became pretty much the standard mode of behavior for ladies who had to be out and about during shark week, right up until some nurses realized that the specialized gauze pads they used to plug up bullet wounds would work great for other such bleeding holes.

so yeah if you were wondering why dudes think women change their clothes a lot its because they don’t understand periods.

It always comes down to men not being able to handle periods

I regret to inform you all that the walrus is a delinquent.

In attempting to climb aboard a dinghy in Tenby it capsized it.

It then proceeded to Tenby harbour where it tried to climb aboard a fishing boat.

Incredibly, this is not an April Fools

Today on English People RUIN Everything, a bunch of English tourists from Essex and Leeds broke covid-19 regulations and travelled to Tenby over Easter to try and see Wally (so named after Where's Wally) and crowded him with jet skis and surfboards and stuff, so he's not been seen since Monday. We don't know yet if he's moved to a secluded spot again, or left Wales entirely.

But, you know, I doubt we were going to have Wally for much longer anyway, since they need to head back home again at some point. Godspeed, Wally. May your fish be ever plentiful.

The English went back home and Wally came back to Tenby! We stan a true Welsh icon, folks.

Some facts about Wally:

• She is named after Where’s Wally because she is hard to spot
• She was previously in Ireland, and then secluded beaches in Pembrokeshire, but has really taken a shine to Tenby, which is a delightful village
• She has a scar on one flipper but it’s long-healed and doesn’t seem to bother her
• She is the southern-most walrus ever spotted in the wild!
• The current theory as to how she got here is that she fell asleep on an ice floe that drifted south, but she’s not bothered about returning yet
• She’s believed to be two years old
• Her gender is still a bit of a mystery but we seem to be leaning female

This story on Wales Online claims she’s believed to be male, but then uses female pronouns. It also features a video of some Welsh people chatting about Wally, including a child whose first language is very clearly Welsh and by the end of his part is struggling to think of things to say about the walrus in English.

WALLY UPDATE!!

The Western Telegraph has opted for male pronouns, and is being very firm that Wally is male, although other news outlets are still all over the place. But what has Wally been up to the past few days?

• He is rapidly gaining weight, and is still giving no cause for concern to either of the organisations watching him (which are the RSPCA a bit and Welsh Marine Life Rescue a lot; this is funny though because a walrus is so far outside of the wheelhouse of either of those organisations like we’re all just guessing here, lads)
• His delinquent ways have continued - he has now attempted to climb onto multiple buoys (all unsuccessfully) and at one point nearly got a mooring rope stuck around his neck. 
• Has he learned from this?
• FOLKS HE HAS NOT!
• He is now a Fashion Icon. He has surfaced multiple times wearing accessories in his moustache. Mostly this has been shells, but three days ago he upped his fashion game by wearing this starfish:

What an Icon.

The photographer of this picture, one Amy Compton who has been Wally’s official photographer since the start, has been making these delightful Wally masks (inset). They sell for £5, of which £1 goes to Welsh Marine Life Rescue. If you would like your own Wally mask, contact her here!