steals your catalytic converters versus sells you meth behind a 7/11
thank you for asking. please take a seat.
tom brady married giselle bundchen in 2009 after being set up on a blind fucking date and she said he smiled and she was like "wow he's so beautiful" and so they got married and have some kids.
now, if you don't know. giselle is defintely a witch. tom brady has called her a witch before, saying that she gives him altars and crystals and rituals so that he'll win his game. she wills things into existence with intentions and had a major role in his career working - not just with her witchcraft but she also supplemented his salary at one point so the patriots could make room for other players. she's literally made his career. she's done that. yes, he's talented, but the luck they've had.... all giselle.
SO THEN we all knew he was going to retire right? it was announced he was going to be an announcer with Al Michaels and that was so cool because like finally he's going to retire!! we will be free!! and them adam fucking schefter went and announced it to the entire world via twitter before tom brady said anything definitive about it! and lo and behold, while we all knew he was going to retire, he suddenly decided to NOT retire.
NOW the reason it was becoming apparent he was going to retire was because giselle hates tampa bay, she's been like at home mom with their kids and put her career on pause/slow down while she was his cheering wife, AND she definitely wanted him to retire. like it's so clear. in the nfl playoffs, the bucs lost when they could've won fr, and he got called for a penalty AND he bled during the game.
this season, he has NOT been doing well and he looks progressively like the life force is being sucked out of him by the minute. giselle hasn't gone to any of his home games, just the kids have, and she hasn't been in the same state at times and she was seen not wearing her wedding ring and it's a full moon and he plays today so like. mark this down. she's making moves.
anyway. giselle is the most powerful witch of all time and she's destroying tom brady.
