Honestly of all the rodents I’ve owned over the years (mice, rats, hamsters, gerbils, miniature hamsters), peoples perceptions of how “dirty” and “scary” each of them are are literally the exact opposite of how it actually is.

Rats are by far the cleanest, smartest, and most gentle, followed by mice. Gerbils are kinda freaky and not quite as clean as mice but are incredibly smart. Miniature hamsters are cleaner than gerbils but not quite as intelligent.

But hamsters.

Hamsters are BY FAR are the most disturbing. They will eat their own body parts, eat their cagemates, they eat their children. Sometimes for no discernible reason. Hamsters are fucking terrifying. They literally eat their problems.

Those beady little eyes. So much sin lies behind them.

I read an article today suggesting that rats are so empathetic that they often mimic their owners emotions and so if their owner is depressed the rats can become depressed NO NO MY BABIES MY POOR LITTLE RAT BABIES I LOVE YOU EVERYTHING IS GONNA BE OKAY I don’t care about me it’s too late for me bUT NOT THEM. THEY ARE TOO GOOD FOR SADS

I had my ratties out and my roommate and I got on the subject of what makes the alpha rat the alpha and I was like “idk. Age, size… size of testicles are all probably factors” and so naturally my roommate is like “dude I’m older, bigger, and have bigger testicles than both of them!” And I was like “yes Jared you would be the alpha rat I suppose” to which he responded by standing up off the couch, showing my rats his testicles, and whispering to them “I’m the alpha now”

anatomy of a rat