Jeph Jacques decided to go out in a blaze of shitposts and in his honor I think it's only right to share these tweets with a wider audience
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ALTgoodnight, sweet prince
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THERES MORE
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Okay so my twitter was hacked a few months ago with the whole big account hack that had a bunch of celebs and politicians being like “WOW CHECK OUT THIS BITCOIN LINK” but because my account wasnt verified, twitter basically said Go Fuck Yourself and permabanned me so hello I’m here with a VPN to slide around those rules and you should go follow my new twitter at twitter.com/KaijunoJ
Okay so my twitter was hacked a few months ago with the whole big account hack that had a bunch of celebs and politicians being like “WOW CHECK OUT THIS BITCOIN LINK” but because my account wasnt verified, twitter basically said Go Fuck Yourself and permabanned me so hello I’m here with a VPN to slide around those rules and you should go follow my new twitter at twitter.com/KaijunoJ
Hmmmmmm blah follow my twitter pls I will give u a single sinflower seed twitter.com/SpaceMomJess
We’re really at this point of the dystopia, huh
I thought this was a joke but wow no Trump really actually did threaten to shut down Twitter because it “silences conservative voices,” a claim inspired by the fact that Twitter attached a fact-check to a couple of his tweets.
MEME 👏🏼 REPORT 👏🏼
No space grandma this week, but to make up for it I made it longer
ELON MUSK'S GRAND PLAN FOR TWITTER
- Buy it for billions of dollars
- Be so surrounded by crypto and NFT shills and yes men that you start to see Twitter's ordinary users as the real bots
- Scrap the site's pre-existing bot programs bc you were mad a report showed that the site didn't have as much of a bot problem as you thought
- Make impersonation trivial, and let everyone who pays you $5 have all their tweets boosted no matter what
- Make the site a barely functional husk run by a skeleton crew and reduce moderation in the name of free speech
- Have your site flooded with bots, impersonators, and spam
- ???
- Make them pay you $1 as a effort to fix spam, even though most of them already paid $5 for the checkmark that incentivized them to spam
Genius. The real Tony Stark. A pioneer on par with the Wright brothers and Zefram Cochrane. Where do I sign up for my One-Way Ticket to Mars NFT
I love how he's obsessed with fixing bots on Twitter, but not just fixing it, he has to fix it.
A normal person buying a company would react to a report saying the site's bot problem isn't as bad as expected with "oh, great, that frees up resources we don't have to allocate there". He reacted by firing the staff responsible in anger, bc if there weren't millions of bots for him to ban, spending all that money would be a waste. This is the management style of a guy who demands a rescue team ditch their equipment to use his sub midway through, and who said he could fix world hunger then rejected an itemized list of what he could spend money on to end some world hunger bc it wouldn't fix all of it
When Elon bought Twitter, he was given a report saying the bot problem wasn't as bad as he thought. He fired the people responsible and started declaring that he would solve the bot problem
Today, the majority of traffic on Twitter is now bots
ALTIt all makes sense, though, when you realize Elon is not only really stupid and bad at everything, but also he didn't even realize the bots on Twitter were bots, bc of course someone who surrounds himself with crypto shills was going to end up seeing the site's normal users as the suspect ones
He literally ran the site into the ground due to an obsessive need to "fix the bot problem", and he ended up creating the worst bot problem in the history of social media, over 73% worse than the next-worst site. And that's before you consider the possibility that big brain genius Elon Musk is trying to fix Twitter's ad revenue problem by making bots that engage with ads. Incredible
Fave part of this, from the story itself, is that the cybersecurity firm monitoring this almost refused to publish the data, bc they didn't believe it could really be that bad
Apparently, before he did all this, the number of bots last year at the same time was...2.81%. That was the number Elon was desperate to fix, and he turned 2% into 75%
