not to be dramatic but i would die for this cat
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UNMUTE THIS, I BEG YOU
[Transcript:]
Cat: Arr-rar! (weird chirp noise)
Cat: [weird mechanical-sounding hiss]
Cat, while licking finger, in a very gravelly voice: Ah mlem-a-mlem-a-mlem-mlem-a-mlem-a-mlem… mrowr rowrrr…
Person holding camera: I love you.
Cat: [hisses]
historical text: contains the word “urinomancy”
rational brain: This is the medieval word for the medical evaluation of urine, which was an important source of information before the era of modern medical tests.
me, beating my fists on the table: PISS WIZARD PISS WIZARD PISS WIZARD PISS WIZARD PISS WIZARD PISS WIZARD PISS WIZARD
me when i see a fat cat: FAT CAT FAT CAT FAT CAT FAT CAT FAT CAT !!!
FAT CAT FAT CAT FAT CAT FAT CAT !!
Once again its 3am and this washing machine wizard haunts me
[Audio ID]
*washing machine beating noises come from behind the door at a steady rhythm*
*door creaks slightly as its opened*
Cowboy Wizard, in a sing songy country tune: "wellllllll you get down to fiddle and you get down to bowl, ya kick off yer shoes and ya throw em on the floor. Ya dancin' in the kitchen till the mornin' lightttt~ till the lousi-"
(audio cuts out before he can finish the word lousiana)
the funniest hp lovecraft story is the one where some guy’s family offended an evil wizard who then cursed his entire family saying that all the men would die before they hit like 30. the protagonist is going crazy trying to find a spell to break the curse and then the big reveal was that the wizard was literally just breaking into their house and killing them himself.
This is missing my favorite detail, namely that the evil wizard is named ‘Charles Le Sorcerer’.
CHUCK WIZARDS CURSE OF SHOOT YOU IN THE FACE
The Hague, Netherlands: Spanish street musician Borja Catanesi and the 68 year old dancer from The Hague mr Roland Parijs
imagine just playing your guitar and you come across the FUNKIEST grandpa
wizard duel
wizard collaboration
Tingle just cranked out 50k words for a spite story for JKR and I am LIVING for it!
[Image one: Tweet from Chuck Tingle ( @ChuckTingle ): please enjoy new full length adult romance novel (52000 words) in paperback or ebook about the best wizard: TRANS WIZARD HARRIET PORBER AND THE BAD BOY PARASAUROLOPHUS available now also trans rights amazon.com/dp/B08B386R6J ]
[Image two: Cover of the aforementioned Harriet Porber novel; Harriet is front and center, a young trans woman with light skin, long dark hair, and glasses; she has a wand raised in her right hand. Behind her are a mammoth in a wizard’s hat, an anthropomorphic duck-billed dinosaur, and a motorcycle with the head of a woman.]
Chuck Tingle is a gift.
OMG the summary:
Trans wizard Harriet Porber is a master spellsmith who’s found herself in a bit of a pickle. After finishing wizard college, Harriet made a name for herself by creating a hit viral spell, but has since failed to craft a follow up. Now Harriet’s agent, Minerma, is breathing down her neck, suggesting that Harriet take a trip to an island off the coast of England for inspiration.
Hoping for some peace and quiet to clear her head, Harriet Porber arrives to find that her new neighbor, an angsty bard named Snabe from the band Seven Inch Nails, is already there making a racket. This parasaurolophus spellcaster is a bad boy through and through, and with his incredible powers of metamagic, Snabe reveals that this layer of reality is much more than it seems. Could Harriet and Snabe really be characters in a parody romance novel?
Soon enough, these two are discovering they have more similarities than differences: both trans, both strong, and both hoping to create a new spell that will change the world. But with the addition of two devious sentient motorcycles to the mix, Dellatrix and Braco, things start to get complicated.
Now trans wizard Harriet Porber is caught up in a tale of magic and mystery where nothing is as it seems, except for one universal truth: love is real.
This is a 52,000 word bad boy romance novel for adults. It contains some explicit scenes.
me when i see a fat cat: FAT CAT FAT CAT FAT CAT FAT CAT FAT CAT !!!