27. Astrophysicist, writer, artist. Michigan. Business inquiries: kaijunobiz@gmail.com
For my birthday I think I’m gonna get some DMT and just fucking melt my mind with it
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#well not really
every now and then tumblr reminds me that my dad asked for a furry pic for his 57th birthday
might as well tell the story behind that
so, my dad’s birthday is coming up, and since he doesn’t text, ever (he’s luddite that way), i text my mom: “hey, can you ask dad would like for his birthday?”
her response is “well he really likes your animals, why don’t you draw (our real-life dog) in that style?”
now bear in mind my mom doesn’t get what i do, or my dad for that matter, so i figure that she doesn’t understand the ramifications of that suggestion. she doesn’t quite see how slapping two hands and a pair of breasts on our real-life dog would be fucking weird. but note also that it was a suggestion that she came up with, not him, so i reply:
“can you just ask him yourself”
she responds “i was just giving you an idea, why don’t you ask him”
“he never texts”
“i will tell him to text you”
and that brings us to
so the lesson is, my mom knows my dad’s tastes much better than i do
I don’t think people in the US got this as much as we did over here in Europe and the rest of the football (as opposed to hand-egg) loving world. But this:
is a vuvuzela. The football loving (or just tolerating, or culturally affected by) world met these things en masse during the 2010 World Cup in South Africa. They were mass produced, they were fucking everywhere. They sound like this:
Over wide open terrain, perfect to summon your people for say, village council, which was what the original instrument was apparently used for. The plastic mass produced thing, in close terrain, is perfect to make it impossible for anybody to hear themselves think, let alone speak. Could it be perfect to disrupt a nazi, for instance if you are not able, for whatever reason, to punch him in the face? My friends, it just might be. Because these things were so heavily mass produced, at one point they couldn’t give them away. There is almost certainly still bunches of them sitting around waiting for the opportune moment, and the opportune moment is now.
If you’re someplace where nazis come to hate speechify (campus etc) get one. You don’t have to be super close for these things to be super effective, which is helpful if you’re not willing/able to get close up in somebody’s face - the damn things are just as disruptive from ten metres away.
It’s Vuvuzela revival time.
(Alternatively, I’ve seen collapsible ones on ebay and aliexpress for $2.50 and free shipping. Just saying)
Do you want to be this cool? Only with minimal investment and musical talent?
Vuvuzela Uprising 2017
What about shofars? Obnoxiously loud, sounds like an elephant, and Jewish as fuck. To offend the Nazis even more
….yes. Excellent. If you have one you feel comfortable bringing into such a situation, blast those things with all the air you’ve got in you.
As a side note, since my proposal for the Vuvuzela Revival seems to have taken off a little, please wear earplugs when you do this sort of thing, and please bring a load of those simple yellow foam earplugs for the people around you too. Vuvuzelas are somewhat directional, but you should still be careful of your fellow protesters and their ears.
Nazis though, fuck those guys in the earholes. They can go deaf.
Just to add:
The collapsible vuvuzelas are portable enough that you can keep one in
your bag in case you meet a hate speecher on the go. Whipping it out
and treating his earholes to your weapon of mass disruption uh, I mean singing him the song of your people would be very satisfying.
I’d like to add to please only deploy your vuvuzelas when there is something (like hate speech) to disrupt! Don’t just blast them at protests and become a general pain in the earhole to everybody around you.
Somebody tagged this post with #social justice bard and that’s honestly the first time I’ve smiled today, thank you all for joining me in the vuvuzela redemption arc AU.
Also the description ‘IT SOUNDS LIKE A BOAT HORN AND A CAR CRASH FUCKING’
:-D
me, after socializing: i think that went well
brain: really hoe…lmao okay where do we start
Man at the bar on Saturday night, Craigville, Minnesota in 1937
Nothing like a ice cold drink after a long day
