Sometimes I think tumblr’s midwest jokes are too on the nose but then I remember I live five miles away from a field of identical 8 foot corn statues
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Shitposting is like abstract modern art. What is shitposting? How do we define it? How do you be a successful shitposter? These are life’s greatest questions.
haven’t seen this on tumblr yet, and tis the season
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driver, muttering: god damnit, it’s paul.
driver, at full volume: mornin’ paul!
paul, cheerfully: the world will be reduced to ash!
driver, muttering again: jesus christ that guy creeps me out.
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[additionally the driver is brian david gilbert, paul is a skeleton sitting on a bench with its arm sticking in the air, and the voice of paul is also brian david gilbert]
I’ve never broken a bone which leads me to believe that I am boneless
The fact that names are gendered is so weird if you think about it. You’re assigning genders to vibrations that come out of a hole in your face.
[Blurred Lines starts playing on Pandora] first of all how dare u
there are 3 letters in the number 6
there are 3 numbers in 666
there are 3 letters in USA
wake up america
I got a high honors award in Economics so now take me to Joel Heyman so I can argue with him about the economy
Newton dressed up as Groot and only saying “I am Noot” to annoy Hermann
Hermann Gottlieb: space??? yea its cool i guess— [trips] [hundreds of thousands of photos of outer space spill out of jacket] w-what a uh i these arent mine im just [gathering them up frantically sweating] listen i just listen by jove [thousands of pictures of space scatter across the floor] by jOVE newton must have done this i swear just listen