Ex Astris Scientia

Emoji Review: Eggplants (per Request)

Apple: The standard. A good eggplant. Good shading and gradient 9/10

Samsung: Too shiny. Looks like a deformed kidney bean. I don’t trust it. 7/10

Microsoft: Stupid. 4/10

Emojidex: Why does it look like that. Why is it black at the bottom. This is a diseased eggplant and consumption will definitely give you food poisoning. 3/10

LG: The person who made this has clearly never seen an eggplant. This is also a deformed kidney bean. 3/10

emoji review

lintylintball

FULL MOON FACE EMOJI REVIEW

doggo-wave

This one provides a warm feeling of comfort and home. possibly is level 1 sex offender but is so sweet you can’t even tell. 4/5

reminds me too much of a Cornellá comic. 3/5

Very strong outlining takes away from the actual image. Face is very vague and unpleasing to look at. 2/5

this emoji is more than okay with cooking you into a cake and then eating it. 1/5

this one is cute and terrifying at the same time 3/5

very simplistic approch makes it hard to tell what the emoji even is. looks like the sun. 0/5

craters are concave, not convex. 1/5

this moon obviously is too important and petty to reflect sunlight. 2/5

looks like a depressed smiley fry 2/5

cheese? 1/5

warming and comforting. reminds me of cookies and happiness 4/5

YO BRUH TF IS THIS SHIT BRUH. THIS LOOKS LIKE SOMETHING OUT OF A FUCKING HORROR MOVIE. IT LOOKS LIKE THE ZELDA MOON BRUH. LOOKS LIKE SOMETHING SHAKESPEARE WOULD PUT IN HIS PLAY. MOON ALSO OBVIOUSLY DOES NOT KNOW HOW TO CONTOUR -3/5

Emoji Review: Moons

Apple: Thomas the Tank Engine. Doesn’t really look like the moon and I don’t like how he’s side eyeing me. 6/10

WhatsApp: A discount Thomas the Tank Engine. Worse. 5/10

Microsoft: Finally! A friendly lad! And one that almost looks like a moon! 10/10

LG: This is cursed and I do not like. 2/10

Emojidex: This is the devil. I am scared for my life. He is staring into my soul. I asked it for a for a hamburger, but it turns out I don’t really exist. Where I was originally standing, a picture of a hamburger rests on the ground. Why are we speaking German? A mime cries softly as he cradles a young cow. Your grandfather stares at you as the cow falls apart into patties. You look down only to see me with pickles for eyes, I am singing the song that gives birth to the universe. 🍔/10

emoji review cuil theory is my goto copypasta when i need some insane gibberish

Emoji Ratings: Rat Edition

Apple: Cute. Realistic. A beautiful boy that wants to boop noses. 10/10

Google: Not realistic, makes me uncomfortable. Looks more like a mouse. There are dark secrets behind those eyes. 5/10

Facebook: This is a rabbit with a rat tail. I assume Mark Zuckerburg has never seen a rat before as he is an alien that has been on earth only for a few years. 7/10