all right young whippersnapper here we go

the year was 2014. the plan was a convention for tumblr users in some random-ass city in illinois. what started out being marketed as tumbl-con usa soon became the disaster we cringe to think about today: dashcon. it was supposed to be a fun, cheap event, with panels and celebrities from multiple fandoms. it was supposed to be the largest gathering of tumblr users for new friendships to be forged and internet friends to meet. alas, it was not meant to be.

picture this: the first night of dashcon, you’re surrounded by people who are just as obsessed with tumblr as you are. you can barely contain your excitement. nothing could ruin your night…or so you thought. suddenly, organizers start to ask for, nay, demand, money. they need $17,000 by 10 pm or the con will be shut down. you start to sweat nervously. you paid ahead of time for this and it’s going to be shut down unless the unexpectedly low amount of attendees can cough up a buttload of money? you check the time on your phone: 9 pm. why on earth would they only have an hour to collect that much money, you ask? the organizers claim that hotel management didn’t like them. instead, it’s just because they had miscommunication with the hotel. trying to stay hopeful, your fellow tumblr users turn to their fandoms, doing the three-finger salute from the hunger games and singing songs from high school musical (most notably, “we’re all in this together”).

after this whole ordeal you think you’re done. the rest of the weekend will be amazing. surely this was the only mistake? oh, how wrong you were.

unbeknownst to you, guests checking in for your beloved panels are experiencing difficulties as well. they were told the con would be paying for their rooms. as a result, some panelists cannot attend. panels are dropped. when this news reaches you, you’re devastated. the organizers quickly try to control the situation: “no worries! you’ll be reimbursed!” you don’t get your money back. instead, you get various rewards and: AN EXTRA HOUR IN THE BALL PIT. sounds fun, right? except the ball pit was open to everyone. at any time. so your extra hour meant nothing. and look at this ball pit. it has seen things that should never have been seen.

poor thing. it probably needed therapy.

considering this was a convention for tumblr users, most everyone in attendance was liveblogging it. we other tumblr users watched in horror. but like, the laughing kind of horror. because we were so glad we weren’t there to experience it. but we were glad we were able to make fun of it. and so, memes were born. some posts circulated for months afterwards. after a while, it eventually faded out of popularity. new tumblr users had no idea what a dashcon was. but those who attended can never forgive. and we who laughed about it can never forget.