27. Astrophysicist, writer, artist. Michigan. Business inquiries: kaijunobiz@gmail.com
There is only Faygo. No milk, no beer, no liquor has graced us in decades. There is only the artificial taste of Faygo. No one even likes it. You take a drink.
A small child tries to fold a paper airplane. He looks down and is upset to see a Ford truck, folded perfectly. It is an F-150. He tries to make an airplane again. This time he folds a Model T. He begins to cry.
“The water is clean!” Cries Flint mayor Dayne Walling. Brown water with sediment still flows from our taps. “The Flint River isn’t polluted anymore!” He insists nervously. Beads of sweat form on his brow. He clutches a bottle of Evian water in his sweaty hand.
The potholes move and grow at night, they consume cars and children alike. My father had to drive to Detroit last week. ‘Beware of the potholes,’ I warned him. I haven’t seen him since.
The sirens are tested every first Saturday of the month. You hear the sirens, but realize its only Friday. Its not the sirens, but children screaming instead.
The Detroit Red Wings never stop playing. There is a game every night. This has been going on for years and the players miss their families. Please let the Red Wings rest.
A body is pulled from the Flint River one hazy morning. The distant sound of Dayne Walling can be heard over the wind, “The water is clean!” He cries. The body resembles you.
I!!! BOUGHT!! A CAR!!!! It’s not new or anything, its a 2012 Ford but I’ve been taking care of it for a long time and it’s my baby and I got the title in the mail today and it’s MY. BABY. Fuck I’m just so excited because I worked so hard for this and I’m dumb and gay and emotional but it’s mine. It’s my car and I love it.
congrats!!!! do they have a name yet??
Her name is Bitch
girls night
Lungs
check out the new two cylinder engine i designed it produces zero horsepower at crank
i keep forgetting that no one on this website knows fucking anything about cars
I know I can hit you with one
good luck ive already replaced your cars engine with a coca cola inline 2
Well I've already released my car's horses into ur house
If you’re dumb enough to buy a new car this weekend, you’re a big enough schmuck to come to Big Bill Hell’s cars!
If you think you’re going to find a good deal at big bill’s
it’s our belief that you’re such a stupid motherfucker, you’ll fall for this bullshit
If you find a better deal,
You heard us right.
Bring your trade, bring your title, bring your wife.
That’s right,
Because at Big Bill Hell’s you’re fucked six ways from Sunday. So take a hike to Big Bill Hell’s,
That’s right
How does it work? If you can piss six feet in the air straight up and not get wet, you get no down payment!
Don’t wait! Don’t delay!
Or we’ll rip your nuts off!
Only at Big Bill Hell’s, the only dealer that tells you to
This event ends the minute you write us a check. And it better not bounce or you’re a dead motherfucker!
Big Bill Hell’s cars! Baltimore’s filthiest and home of one of the meanest sons of bitches in the State of Maryland!
A bird explaining to a hedgehog crossing so it doesn’t die.
!!! ok but that’s legitimately what it’s doing!! That’s a corvid right there (looks like a hooded crow, to be precise), which means it’s intelligent enough to recognize, a) cars are dangerous and streets should be treated with a certain degree of caution, b) this car’s slowing down for them–cars do that sometimes–which means they’re not in imminent danger, so it doesn’t have to fly away just yet, c) that hedgehog’s still gonna get killed if it doesn’t MOVE, FAST (cars can change speed very quickly and the hedgehog’s still in the way), and almost certainly also d) if the bird does nothing it gets a free lunch.
Y’all, Y’ALL. This bird is consciously deciding to put itself in danger in order to save the life of a very stupid creature. A creature which, if the bird did nothing, could be free food.
i can’t - look if you follow me you know I have a thing for corvids, but this is - like!!! People are always saying “ah yes they have sub-human intelligence and don’t consider anything that isn’t immediately necessary for their own survival/pleasure,” but! Whether or not it can do philosophy, this crow is clearly demonstrating compassion. Even if it’s just the kind of compassion a toddler shows to a snail, a social creature that instinctively recognizes the potential for emotion in other beings, that’s still huge and cool and important and corvids!!! are! neat!!!
Not only that, it’s literally in the driver’s training manual that it is safer to stop your car and sleep on the side of the road than drive tired. Driving tired is as bad as driving drunk. It is actually a DANGER to make sleeping in your car illegal.
Laws against people living/sleeping in their cars are just homeless spikes with extra steps.
Legally speaking those laws against sleeping in a car get thrown out. A car is largely recognized as an extension of your home and you’re legally allowed to sleep in it. It’s just another bullshit way cops and various agencies create a nonsensical law that people don’t think to challenge in an effort to get more money out of you.
JUST got my car serviced like last week and the check engine light came on today
going to work 😌
the extremely ominous part in the middle where he picked up a hammer and just held it for a minute like he was threatening the car into compliance
2008-2017 Wuling Rongguang/Chevrolet N300
It’s just funny to me how I’ve always been a builder. As long as I could remember, taking things apart and putting them back together. Tinkering with things. I suppose I got it from my dad, he was a mechanic, a tinkerer, an architect. He spent his whole life building, building, building. From car factories to building our house, he was good at it. And so I grew up building. Cars, science projects, catapults and slingshots, virtual building with programming. But what I think I was actually building up was a determination. A determination that anything can be done if you just put the pieces together right. If you just take a step back and look it over, you can find a way to make it work. It was a determination that got me to where I am now. It was a determination that when you met a wall, you built a ladder. It gave me this sense of not only was anything possible, bu I could make it possible. And that’s exactly what I’m doing. And so now my dad helps me build furniture for my new house, while I build particle accelerators and neutrino detectors.
And you know that car is some shitty BMW
@identifying-cars-in-posts which bmw is this
2008-2014 BMW X6 (exhibiting typical behavior)
