Ex Astris Scientia — FLAPPER FANNY SAYS, by American cartoonist, Ethel...

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FLAPPER FANNY SAYS, by American cartoonist, Ethel Hays (1892-1989).

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woim
oylmpians

a list of current immortals

  • florence welch: probably like 200 BCE celtic queen
  • keeanu reeves: 1500 renaissance hoe
  • jeff goldblum: late 1800′s i would guess
  • harry styles: fairly new immortal, 1970′s 
  • lorde: 1920′s flapper era
  • hozier: man who even knows, rough estimate is like, 400 BCE
  • john mulaney: 1930′s/40′s, still bitter about the great depression probably and if he could put it in a bit with out being #exposed he would
  • paul rudd: newest to the immortal club, didn’t age past the 1990′s
inthannon

I feel like this list is forgetting Sir Patrick Stewart who I believe has not aged since 7000 BCE.. After all his twin brother was the Kennewick man..

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space-feminist

as a self-appointed expert on Hozier, i would say that date is possibly accurate.  

many of Hozier’s songs reference being buried in the earth (In a Week, Work Song), and some are directly inspired by bog bodies (Like Real People Do, Run). two of the most famous Irish bog bodies, Old Croghan Man and Clonycavan Man, are dated between 392 and 175 BCE, and both are speculated to have been kings ritually sacrificed to the goddess of the land. in Take Me to Church, Hozier demonstrates a willingness to offer sacrifices to a goddess, and in Foreigner’s God, he thinks fondly upon the image of a pre-Christian Ireland (“when the land was God-less and free”). as well, Old Croghan Man is estimated to have been about 6′6, and Hozier is about 6′5. 

the only possible flaw in this theory is that in a Facebook Q&A (here at 5:28), Hozier says that he is over 3000 years old. 400 BCE only puts him at ~2400. it could be that after so many years he’s lost track of how many thousands, but another possibility is that he is more contemporaneous with an older bog body, the Cashel Man, also presumed to be a sacrificed king. that would put him closer to 4000 than 3000, but again, we could forgive an immortal for getting his millenia wrong.

in any case, it seems likely to me that Hozier is an ancient Irish king who was ritually sacrificed to the old gods, but somehow returned (possibly through intervention by said old gods) to give us music subtly hinting at his experiences.

mythicalmessenger

this hozier addition is frighteningly detailed and I’m here for it

brightlotusmoon

Thank you, cryptid Tumblr, for always having the best answers.

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Sister Rosetta Tharpe (born Rosetta Nubin, March 20, 1915 – October 9, 1973) was an American singer and guitarist. She gained popularity in the 1930s and 1940s with her gospel recordings, characterized by a unique mixture of spiritual lyrics and electric guitar. She was the first great recording star of gospel music, and was among the first gospel musicians to appeal to rhythm and blues and rock and roll audiences, later being referred to as “The Original Soul Sister” and “The Godmother of Rock and Roll”. She influenced early rock-and-roll musicians including Little Richard, Johnny Cash, Carl Perkins, Chuck Berry, Elvis Presley, Jerry Lee Lewis, and Eric Clapton.

Tharpe was a pioneer in her guitar technique; she was among the first popular recording artists to use heavy distortion on her electric guitar, opening the way to the rise of electric blues. Her guitar-playing technique had a profound influence on the development of British blues in the 1960s. Her European tour with Muddy Waters in 1964, with a stop in Manchester on May 7, is cited by British guitarists such as Eric Clapton, Jeff Beck, and Keith Richards.

In May 2018, Tharpe was posthumously inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame as an Early Influence.

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