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This is what plays when you’re being chased through a haunted house by a clown
Anonymous asked:
2/ AND WE WEREN’T EVEN ON THE BOAT YET. She was screaming like a 3 year old, screamed at the top of her lungs at these poor elderly women in front of us “SHE HAS MY GRANDMAS HAIR SHES MY GRANDMA!!!” she was running ALL over the docks, she was going into the other line (the exit line), and kept shrieking so loudly in both my and my sister’s ears. My dad was there watching. She asked my 13 year old classmate that I invited “are you really a virgin?” WE’RE IN 6TH-8TH GRADE.
3/ When we did get on the boat (this was behind me so i didnt know until later) Hickory Horror was SHOVING my sister because she wanted to be in front. My sister didn’t let her go and front, turned around and put her hand up, said “If you’re going to be with us, you need to chill.” . Also, this kid has NO mental disorder. She isn’t autistic, no ADHD, nothing. Meanwhile, My dad is sitting on the dock wondering what in gods name is following his kids. It was worse inside the boat.
4/ When we got in, the screaming/shrieking started/increased ten-fold INSTANTLY. My sister and I were stuck with the two sweet elderly women (we whispered to each other on the docks that we’d rather go with them anyway). We couldn’t see my classmates but we heard them screaming. It got to a point with a clown at the bottom of a stair, and oh my god the screaming from this demon child. “I HATE CLOWNS I HATE CLOWNS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” I use so many !’s because that’s legit how loud she was.
5/ I hated every minute we were in there, because I already had a headache from this brat and there was a lot of flashing strobe lights. We get to the end (thank god) and I overhear the guide that was in front with my classmates “Yeah they were like…pushing me and hurting me…” They LITERALLY HURT A COAST GUARD. My friend stepped on his heel, but I’m not talking about her. I’m talking about the two demon children that kept screaming. We get out of there, they want to go again -hell to the no.
6/ We go home, drop off my two friends who I DID invite, my dad instantly turns around, looks at me, and goes “I like your friends, but you are never allowed to invite those other girls.” He saw and heard EVERYTHING this Hickory Horror was saying and doing on the dock. The other uninvited-girl wasn’t as bad, but she was still annoying. Which is sad, because I kind of liked her before the ordeal. This was my first time at the haunted house, but they were so embarrassing. Ruined my whole night.
Holy fuck what a nightmare Jesus Christ I’m proud of you for not killing her
Comedian and vlogger Elijah Daniel became mayor of Hell, Michigan, proceeded to ban all heterosexuals, and then was impeached. This singlehandedly saved 2017
AHAGSHKSGSKSLK THIS IS THE SINGLE BEST THING I HAVE EVER READ ABOUT?????????
This is really funny oml
please fucking watch this video
none of you will ever understand the visceral rage i hold for the slump of a man and his shitty haunted house goosebumps books none of you will EVER comprehend the pure utter contempt i hold i wish i could call him so many slurs im going to fucking invent one for the shitwad of a man that stands before me i already hated elias i despised the homophobe gay bitch but now you think to yourself wow they must love elias now no no no die faster i hate elias even more with the burning rage that consumed me for leitner killing him was MY right it was MY burning desire to see to fruition and that shithead STOLE it from me his STUPID OLD HANDS i hate it i hate him and i hate leitner hes so stupid fucking god damn hubris having shithead hiding in a fucking tunnel for twenty years pasty idiot you cant say people who live in their mothers base are invalid if you dont hate leitner he hid in gertrudes basements for twenty years and she barely knew i fucking hate him so much how often did he leave the tunnels did he just shit on the floor like a fucking rat did he leave only to shit in some random store bathroom like a sloth leaving the tree every few weeks is he blacklisted at starbucks for not buying anything before he shits NONE of you know the betrayal inflicted on me the WHOLE CHAT NEW ALL OF YOU BASTARDS KNEW what i was gonna walk into you all KNEW and you LET IT HAPPEN WHERE WAS MY TRIGGER WARNING YOU LET ME INTO THAT I WAS LED LIKE CALF TO SLAUGHTER FOR THE VIEWS got so mad i fucking gave up trying to type it had to move to CALL and you all had the audacity to sit there and laugh at me i was faced with the devil and you all looked at him dragging me into hell and LAUGHED none of you respect me i am the lowly clown dragging my sorry ass out of the clown car honking all the way and i am the clown weeping comically as my makeup runs down my polka-dotted outfit onto my massive squeaky shoes the lowly fire that burns withen me is fueled by my rage for jurgein book whore leitner the cold cannot seep into my bones when i am toasted by the thought of him bleeding to death after being fucking brutalized idiot so confused about why people hate him for his fucked up book collection IDIOT IDIOT put your fucking NAME on ALL of them WHY would they not fucking blame you when youre attached to EVERY FUCKING MURDER BOOK THEYVE EVER SEEN the only reprieve i get is i no longer have to hope hes dead because he IS making brutal pipe murder my fucking RINGTONE you were all so adamant i would forgive you for lying about the finale to my poor face when i saw what happens and unfortunately you were right my eyes are open my skin is clear the sky is sunny and the world has united as one to sing a song of peace and fortune as the body of jurgein leitner decays on the archive floor gonna pull a heist of the ages on the institute not for the secret tapes or the fucked up artifacts but for the soul purpose of kicking leitners corpse before they clean it out if i cant kill him the least i can do is make sure is ghost is writhing in pain as it descends to hell only reason im glad tma doesnt have visuals is the fact that looking at him would make me bald
I can lip sync this by now, this is a legendary post
Anonymous asked:
ao3commentoftheday answered:
Because AO3 is a hosting service. They don’t exist to police the content on their site as long as that content doesn’t breach the Terms of Service.
It’s an author’s responsibility to tag and rate and warn their fics appropriately. It’s a reader’s responsibility to read those tags and ratings and warnings and decide whether or not they want to read the fic. Anyone who isn’t willing to do their part probably shouldn’t be using the service.
If you walk into a haunted house, they are going to try to scare you.
If you get on a roller coaster, you are going to experience g-forces.
If you watch an R-Rated movie, you are going to experience foul language, violence, and/or sexual situations.
If you use a website that caters to all writers of fan-fiction, you are going to encounter every possible thing that comes under that umbrella.
Before you do something that might make you uncomfortable, stop and think.
You have the right and the responsibility to curate your own experiences in these spaces.
I’m an AO3 user (reader & writer), and for a long time all I did was hit the appropriate warnings they had already set up (i.e. Major Character Death), as I had been a long-time user of Fanfiction.net, and was more accustomed to their layout/rules/methods. Then, I started noticing that AO3 authors didn’t just have notes saying, “The following is a work of fanfiction and I do not own the characters Luke Skywalker, Spock, James Bond, etc.”, but had these, “This Fic Contains”, and, “Trigger Warnings/Possible Triggers”.
After reading that, I went to DoesTheDogDie.com and saw where they had expanded what had formerly just been letting you know if the animals in movies/shows died, to having all these ‘trigger warnings’ like if people are shown being violently ill on screen, does the torture scene include damage to the eyes, is someone sexually assaulted on screen, does a child die on screen, etc. After reading many of those, I realized how many things you might want to be aware of and I started trying to be more mindful when I published fanfictions, to say that at the top, “Trigger Warning- mentions of drowning, nightmares related to traumatic events”, and the like to let people know what they are in for. Most of the time, it isn’t something that will ‘spoil’ the story, it is just something to stop people from reading my story if my story is going to upset them.
I don’t write to hurt people, I don’t write to make someone have nightmares. Think of it as something like a Drug Facts/Warning label, and people read it and then either decline the medication or sign the consent form to get the medication. You write up this little thing saying, “The Following Fic Contains x, y, and z”, the reader scans that and goes, “Okay, I can deal with all that- lets get to reading!”, or they go, “Yeah, I can’t deal with Y cause it reminds me of bad things, so I’ll go check something else out. Maybe this author has something else I’d like that doesn’t have Y in it.”
But AO3 allows creators to create and consumers to consume- and all freely, at your own discretion. If a reader wants to read about tentacles doing unspeakable things to stranded explorers, there’s likely a fic (or 1,000) for them on AO3. If a reader wants to read some tooth-rottingly sweet fairy-tale rewrite of Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov’s lovestory, there’s a fic (or a few) for them on AO3. If you’ve got this fanfic you wrote that is Justice League- but with Zombies, there’s a tag waiting for you, so you can post that to AO3. If you want to publish this little fanfiction you wrote 4 years ago, for a dead fandom that probably had 100 members to begin with, there’s a slot for that on AO3.
This is one place where as a reader and as a writer, you have the freedom to choose what you want and not have to worry about 50-11 people butting in on you to tell you how to change what you want in order to use their service. On A03, you can pretty much read what you like (Cause someone will have posted it, surely) and you can write what you please.
Doesthedogdie.com is a good resource on getting the hang of what you might want to use content warnings for!
I brought my rats home for thanksgiving break and I’m laughing because the cats are terrified of them
Movie idea: realtor and ghost dynamic duo where the realtor gets rich off of reselling the haunted house every few month because the ghost scares the owners off so she just keeps getting commission for selling the house and when she’s made enough to retire she buys the house herself and moves in with her ghostie friend and idk paint each other’s nails and stuff
FLEX TAPE
IS THERE ANYTHING IT CAN’T DO
@1-800-wish-a-nigga-would That’s absolutely right Phil, it can even fix a broken marriage! With Flex Seal A̧͐̅ͤ̂͗ͣͬ̅͗͌͋͛̂̄ͨ̃̂̚͟҉͙͙̙̙̲̥̬͙͔̺͜N̵̨̫͍̪̱̣͕͓̯͎̺̰͓̝̘͑͒̋̒̚Y̌̾̉̏͋ͭ͆ͦ̑͌̊̎͏̷͖̞͉̟͔̣̙̦̝̝̦̻̫̼ͅT̄ͧ͑͛̅̽̓͐ͥ̀̔͌̆ͥͥ҉̷͖̯̠̳͍̦͍̙̣̰͕̟͉H̵̢̡̫͎̳̮̖͕̹̖̩̰̲̠͎̩͔̃͛ͮ̽ͩ͝Iͩͭͩͫ͗́̍͊̈́̓̌̍̌҉͈̥̬̞͚͙̰̘̜͈͠ͅͅŅ̷̂ͭͫ̓͊͂ͨ̄͐̂͛͊̈̈ͪͮ̅҉̷͚̠̹̗̯̀G̴̡͒̾̏ͥͮ͐̓͋͊ͦͩ̎ͫ̈̚͜͏̡̮̘̳͇̙̣ ̶̥͈̟͈͈̮̬̘̟̰͓̭̠̲͍̻ͭ̂̎͊ͯ̍ͧͤ̓ͭ̐ͯ̀̄̚͠͞͝ͅỊ̢̞̤͕̗̖̠͖̪̲̗̣̯͕̜̫͕̄̓͆͌͊́͐̂ͧ̚͡ͅŞ̴̶̪̤̜̣͙͙͈̮̱̄̌ͧ̂̌ͮ̐̈́̍̚ ̬̖̮̭͈͔̈̑ͧͭ̀̊̄̌̉͑̄ͣͧ̈ͭͣ́͜P̧̘̺̯͙̤͎̻̣͍͙̺͍̱̘͓̓̅ͥͬ̓̀͜͠ͅO̥͕̤̮̘̤͍̟͕̯̱͎̮͉̳ͤ͑̇̍̾͊͢͟͜͝S̵̛͚̻̞̟̱͎̗͗̑ͦ͐ͩ͗̏ͥ̄̓͂͊͌͆ͮ́̚͜͠S̶̨̢̩̝͇̹͈̳̺̪̭̻̑̔̇̋ͤ͝I̢̡̨̗̩̤̫͚̪̦̩̹͖̎͛̔ͧ̑ͯ͗͛͒̔̚̕͡B̶̸̨̨̜̲̤̼̹̬̩̲̬͉̞̹̳͕̠̳̩͒ͨͨ́̓̓̽ͨ̆͂̋͑͆̄ͮͧ̚͝L̷̨̀ͦ̆͋ͦ͆̍͊̂͂̚҉̡͓̭̝̯̯̣͚̻͕̲̻̝E̶͕̟̯̥͙͖̠̠͓̼͈̖̜̻̘̐̾͋ͪ̑ͣ̆̀̊̓ͥ̓ͨͭ͗̒͆̓̀͘͞
IT CAN EVEN STOP THE FLOW OF TIME, PHIL.
I SAWED THIS BOAT IN HALF
SLAP ON THAT FLEX TAPE IT’S NOT A FUCKIN MIRACLE
SLAP IT ON WITH THE MIGHT OF ZEUS
*Epic Music*
THATS NOT ENOUGH DAMAGE
I̸̭̹̻͐͒̏͗ͥ͛̀͡S̷̲̝̭̦̰̫͆͐͌ͥͩ̇͛ͩ́͢ ͉̥̥͚̭̣̞̽̑̽̑̓ͩ͋ͮ̇͜ͅT͕͓̠̳͕ͫͩ̇ͩ́H̯̠̦̯̩͊͂ͨ̑̏ͣǏ̧̢̳̼͙̞͉͔͑S͚̻͇̠͉̰̞͔̮ͮ̉ͭ̉ ̧̲͍̥͔̳̓ͫͣ̑W̨̙̞ͧͫ͗͌͛ͧ̓͌̕͝H͒ͬ͏̵̯̻̪̜͎A̬̰̝ͤͬ̒T̸̲̖͙͖ͧ̂͜͡ͅ ̣̳ͨ͆͐̿̏̚H̘͑ͤͨ̓̉͟A̮̙ͭ͐ͮ̔̋̒͟͞P̝͍͔̱͎̗͚͙ͤ͒ͭͦͮͪͣ̎͢Pͧ̋ͣͯͥ̅̈ͭ͘҉̺̰̥͕̺̪̰E̶̻̪̙̭̳͐͋ͣ̒̆ͫ͘Ǹ̴̦͕͈̮̗̟͖̼͡S̨͙͉̜̦͔̙̯͛̈̂ͥ͂ͤ̿ ̷̶͙͓̼̟̠͕ͩ̓ͪ̈͛̂͟W͇̘͇̜̜̲̯̭̅̂͐̍ͣ͞H͈͔̞͖̮̆̓̒͊̂̃̒͐E̮͇͍͔̠̲̦ͨ̈́̎̂N͒̚҉͇̝͙ͅ ̧̗̦̲͍͛̂ͣ͜͢Y̶̥̤ͥ̾̆͗̐͂͢Ȍ̗̬͓̺̗͗͛ͮ̉ͥ̎̒͘̕Ũ̢̻͓̜̼̞͈̆͠ ͎̥̼̫͎̘ͯ̆̔T̰̬͖͔ͧ̃ͪͥͧ́͝R̨̙̩̪͎̻͚̥̜̓Y͈̮̯̞̼͎̅ͪ̆̚̕͡͡ͅ ̗̩̟͕͍͓͇̊ͧ̀̿ͩͧ̇͝T̿̆ͯͬ҉̸̺̗̺̪͎͙̩͈̜O͇̦͔̖ͤ͌̾͑̐̆ͧͩ̕͡ ̴̛͋̈́̋͗̎ͨ̑̑͘ͅP͎̞̤̥̰͇͉̫͛̅̏̉L̺̳̪͓̘̺̱̜ͤ͋ͩ̇͜A̩̳͛ͥ͋̐ͤ̍ͯ͐Y̽ͪ̀҉͚͍ ̲̫͉͒̆̓͌͆G̡͔̼̖̜̪̫̓̕O̪͇͍͛ͬ͗ͪD̹̬̺̞̜̜̱̬̆ͪ
I destroyed god with flextape
FLEXTAPE IS GOD NOW
“Cats are cold, detached & unloving.”
“Cats are not loyal.”
“A cat will not greet you at the door.”
“You can not train a cat”
“Cats aren’t that smart.”
“Cats aren’t that good with children.”
“Cats don’t miss you when you’re gone.”
“Cats don’t comfort you when you’re feeling down.”
What a load of crap !!! One thing for certain… cats don’t give a rat’s ass what B.S. you tell about them. They refuse to care less, either about what you think of them, or about the people they love.
“Cats don’t miss you when you’re gone” is a ton of bs. Whenever I leave to go anywhere, I can hear my cats meowing at the door within moments trying to find me. They sit in the window watching for me to come home and they are at the door to greet me almost every single time.
Cats also grieve.
This cat watches a video of their owner who had passed away and he tries to cuddle up with the phone. The look on his face when they zoom in on him brings me to tears every time.
One of our cats comes and sleeps next to me when he sees that I’m not feeling well. If he’s in the kitchen when I come down for food with cramps or with a cold, he’ll follow me back upstairs and lay down on me and purr.
Cats are aloof animals who don’t put up with nonsense, will defend their boundaries with claws, and sometimes like to push things down to see what happens, but they aren’t jerks.



