Ex Astris Scientia — Everybody posting shit about “oo we’re...

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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna

Everybody posting shit about “oo we’re expecting!!!” Around the holidays meanwhile I woke up in a fuckin fugue state the other night, stress dreaming about giving birth because my uh fuckin Lady Time is late this month so at about 4 in the fuck-off am I’m taking a pregnancy test out of pure panic

not pregnant!!!

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#not pregnant!!!

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Sooo my sister in law had a tubular pregnancy (baby is developing in the Fallopian tube) and the doctors fucking…….. they didn’t think she was pregnant because it didn’t show up on an ultrasound, but her hormones were indicating she was pregnant. But because they couldn’t find one they thought she had a sort of uterine/cervical/reproductive cancer. They didn’t fucking do a biopsy to determine if she had fucking cancer or not but still decided to give her chemo?????? They didnt- you don’t fucking give someone chemo before confirming the location and type of cancer. YOU DONT GIVE CHEMO FOR SHITS AND GIGGLES?? and surprise surprise she didn’t have fucking cancer and was, in fact, pregnant and because they gave her chemo instead of removing the pregnancy her Fallopian tube burst, she had severe internal bleeding, and had 6 hours of emergency surgery to save her life tonight. They gave her fucking chemo for no reason and didn’t fucking confirm if she had cancer beforehand what the FUCK?? Genesys Medical Hospital is about to get a massive fucking malpractice suit, Jesus Christ.

porcelaincloud
biculturalist biculturalist

When your mother was pregnant with you, she was losing her bone mass to build your skeleton. Your bone is literally your mother’s bone. Alhamdullilah.

biculturalist biculturalist

The physiology of this works in the following way: calcium resorption increases in pregnant women so that calcium ions from the mother’s solid bones are put into the blood, passed through the placenta, and given to the fetus. Those calcium ions then get deposited into the developing skeleton of the fetus. Thus, you are literally built from your mother’s bones.

marcitlali

Good i didn’t ask for her ass to have me that’s why i stole her bones bitch

ffukx

I told my mom this and with a blank face she said “give them back”

loxers
jethrocane

a pregnant woman goes into a coma

months later she wakes up, no longer pregnant

“you had twins! ” the nurse exclaims. “your brother named them”

“what did he name the girl?” the woman asks

“denise”

“that’s alright, I like denise. and the boy?”

“denephew”

methblue methblue

this is like 1998 chain email-level content

vann-haal
thathighclassbitch: “ titenoute: “ humansofnewyork: ““My husband got involved with a younger woman at work. I was relaxed about it at first. He’s thirteen years younger than me, so I thought: ‘Shit happens.’ But then she got pregnant. Luckily through...
humansofnewyork

“My husband got involved with a younger woman at work.  I was relaxed about it at first.  He’s thirteen years younger than me, so I thought: ‘Shit happens.’  But then she got pregnant.  Luckily through the divorce process I had the opportunity to take over this shithole place with no heating, which I’ve turned into an art studio. And now I’m living my best life.  Everything is for sale except the pink chandelier and the dog.  Anyone is free to stop by at anytime.  You can eat or drink whatever you want.  All the young people in the neighborhood love me.  I’m the oldest person in our friend group.  Everyone else is in their twenties or thirties.  They call me Queen Mama.  I call them my adopted kids.  I always help them with their school projects and resumes and interviews.  I only ask one thing in return.  Each of them has to teach me one new thing every week: a piece of music, a trend, an idea.  Just so I can stay up to date.  Before you take the photograph, let me go inside and put on some make-up.  We were out until 2 AM last night.”
(Amsterdam, The Netherlands)

titenoute

image
thathighclassbitch

I wanna visit this woman

So 24 years ago today, with my mom 8 months pregnant, she helped move patients from 2 smaller hospitals into a larger hospital during a fuck off bad snowstorm and everyone is posting about how it’s the 24 year anniversary of the move and i never thought abt it but i was like. one of the first babies born in that hospital

idk if it’s because she’s pregnant or w/e but my sister, an art history major, turned stay at home mom, thinks she knows as much math as me all of the sudden like I was talking about like 3rd order differential equations and she was just like “lol just use photomath” uh they barely make calculators that can do past 2nd order. most computer algebra systems don’t go past second order. I had to write a code to check my work on 3rd order +. Not only that but can photomath even do fractions? There’s no way it can do anything above multiplication and division. And then I was talking about linear algebra on fb and applying the geometric series to matrices and she was like “ah yes….. that should be…. linear?” like fucking congrats you read the first word of the post. 

kaijuno
kaijuno

idk if it’s because she’s pregnant or w/e but my sister, an art history major, turned stay at home mom, thinks she knows as much math as me all of the sudden like I was talking about like 3rd order differential equations and she was just like “lol just use photomath” uh they barely make calculators that can do past 2nd order. most computer algebra systems don’t go past second order. I had to write a code to check my work on 3rd order +. Not only that but can photomath even do fractions? There’s no way it can do anything above multiplication and division. And then I was talking about linear algebra on fb and applying the geometric series to matrices and she was like “ah yes….. that should be…. linear?” like fucking congrats you read the first word of the post. 

kaijuno

This also reminds me of this freshman physics kid that hangs around our office and he tries to keep up with us and it’s hilariously embarrassing. Like we were doing quantum the other day which is a grad level class and he’s like frantically reading Schrodinger’s Wikipedia page and offering up useless nonsense like “uh uh Schrodinger’s cat!!” thanks kid we’re talking about applying the Dirac equation

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