I think everyone should look at my silly cats
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me: what do you need to do, doc???
tumblr surgeon: Hehe! :3 im gonna have to snoot your liver because you;re a silly pepe shitpost meme who didnt drink 8 cups of water a day!!!!
me *trying to get up*: let me go i dont want the surgery anymore
tumblr surgeon *forcibly restraining me*: Uwu that wasnt very fall out boy of you!!! ur smol liver needs some frick frack… hehe :3
I just got a new laptop and it doesn’t have AdBlocker yet and I swear to god I’ve never seen an ad on tumblr because I just watched a 3 minute video about Cruise Holidays because I thought it was an elaborate shitpost
Anonymous asked:
Dude I feel with the crushes. Every girl I've crushed on for the past year (I'm a lesbian) either 1) had a boyfriend 2) was straight/one if my best friends (I don't like to date close friends. It gets messy.) or 3) was outside of my (personal) two year age difference rule. And I'm hella closeted so I don't exactly have girls asking me out (just guys who won't accept rejection) and uggghhhh ya know
I feel u and I wish u luck on finding a gf
I shitpost when I’m feeling down
but u always shitpost
this e.e. cummings poem is probably very Deep but honestly at this point it just reads like a shitpost to me
👌👌brIght💯💡💡💥 bRight s???💥💡💯 big 🔆🔅🔆(soft) soft near calm👌👍 (Bright)calm st?? holy (soft briGht deep)yeS near sta? calm star🌞 big💫 👌yEsalone (wHo Yes👌👍👌 near deep👇 whO big💪👍💯 alone soft neardeep calm deep????Ht ?????T) Who(holy💫💯 alone)holy(alone hol💯y)alone
girlfrienb would be nice but i am not a likable person romantically speaking
im good at conversation sort of but i fear that someday ill run out and itll just be a loop of facts about hedy lamarr and bitching about modern turntable design
When in doubt just make verbal shitposts
listen. if you evre say the word shitpost again in reference to me or my dealings with humans i am going to blow up your dad with a grenade
thats the shitposting spirit
girlfrienb would be nice but i am not a likable person romantically speaking
im good at conversation sort of but i fear that someday ill run out and itll just be a loop of facts about hedy lamarr and bitching about modern turntable design
When in doubt just make verbal shitposts
listen. if you evre say the word shitpost again in reference to me or my dealings with humans i am going to blow up your dad with a grenade
thats the shitposting spirit
such shitpost strength here
i’m going to rip your arm off and send you back to the marshes to bleed to death
:)
Not so friendly reminder Satan is anti map
“Do not harm children” -Rule 9 of The eleven satanic rules of earth
Amazing how even the religion with the one of the worst reputations is anti MAP lmaoooooo
Right? Also rule 5 “Do not make sexual advances unless given consent”
For people who expressed interest
I am not a satanist so I can not provide in-depth knowledge but there are many branches/types of satanism. Here is the ones I know of.. I might get a few things wrong but as said before I don’t practice satanism.
The Church of Satan: The church of Satan belives in no deity except for that of yourself! You are your own god/goddess. You worship yourself in the form of self-love, self betterment, happiness, and pursuing knowledge. To name a few. This branch of satanism encourages sex, but sexual acts towards children or animals are considered sins. (This church was founded by the man who wrote the satanic bible)
The Satanic Temple: Above all this branch encourages benevolence and empathy as well as the embrace of common sense and justice. This group does not worship Satan as a deity but rather as a figure off rebellion. Recently you may have heard that the temple erected a statue of Baphomet on public property in Detroit because of the city building a statue of the 10 Commandments. They also held a “Pink Mass” at the funeral of Westboro Baptist Church Leader Fred Phelps’ mother. Gay couples were welcomed to the pink mass and encouraged to publicly display affection and wish for Phelps’ mother to be “gay in the afterlife.”
Luciferianism: Luciferians are most concerned with the pursuit of knowledge. They worship Lucifer (mostly as a symbol but some as a deity) rather than Satan. To them he embodies self-determination and liberation from the slave mentality. Luciferians’ main goal is to help people “take responsibility for their own life and act as an individual moral agent, using the full potential of their own genius and thereby optimizing possibilities.”
Christian-based Duo Theism: This is a very small sect of Satanism that differs greatly from the rest. Theistic Satanists believe in the Christian bible… but in the war between Satan and the Lord, they’re on the side of Satan.
Why isn’t this being spread more often? This is so interesting and awesome
This is actually pretty interesting….
Hmmmm
today on “i didnt know i was a satanist”