I think the problem comes at least partly from people assuming two things:
- that “racist” is a personal insult upon your honour
- that once you’re called “racist”, that’s it, you’re irrevocably racist and your Soul Is Forever Tarnished
and I’m not going to deny that there are people who do use the term in the aforementioned ways, but most of the time it’s just used to tell you that, yes, you are doing/saying something racist, much like calling someone who’s cutting off fingers a “finger cutter” is just saying that they’re, you know, cutting fingers off (and they should stop)
ideally it’d go like this
“black people have the perfect physique and structure to play uruk-hai”
“you’re being pretty racist right now”
“huh, in hindsight that’s actually pretty racist to say, I apologize and I’ll try to think things through a little better in the future”
but a lot of the time it goes like this
“black people have the perfect physique and structure to play uruk-hai”
“you’re being pretty racist right now”
“WELL I GUESS I’LL JUST GO AND STAB A KNIFE THROUGH MY OWN BRAIN NOW SINCE I’M A FUCKING DIRTY MONSTER! ARE YOU HAPPY NOW, SJWS?!?!?! YOU’RE JUST TRYING TO SILENCE DISCUSSION!”
really, it’s a copout attitude that focuses on your own feelings instead of engaging the thing you’re doing/saying. fleeing into that comfortable refuge of indignation where you don’t have to think that maybe it’s shitty for white people to wear native american headdresses on halloween, because you’ve been Offended and Dragged Into The Mud and Stabbed In The Heart by the mean mean marginalized people who are calling racism racism