Official Hey I’ve Got Two Hands Post
today’s very important post
27. Astrophysicist, writer, artist. Michigan. Business inquiries: kaijunobiz@gmail.com
today’s very important post
THAT BOBCAT LOVES THAT BOY
He’s scent marking the hell outta that boy. So this is basically the equivalent of him saying “MINE, MINE, MINE, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine!”
I love how in the third gif he dies that little wave of his paw like “C’MERE YOU”
That was my cat does, he’ll rub and groom the heck out of me
My mom’s birthday is the ides of march and mine is 2 days later on st patrick’s day and I was talking to a friend of mine about it the other day and said “oh my mom’s birthday is 2 days before mine” but she must have heard “my mom was born 2 days before me” because it took me about 5 minutes to explain to a full grown adult that birthdays happen every year and that my mother just so happened to be celebrating hers for 30 years before me
Anonymous asked:
sonypraystation answered:
happy valentines day
This is honest to god the funniest thing I have ever seen in my entire life
This 1️⃣ goes out to all the horny 💏 couples out there who are thinking 🤔 of getting rowdy 🔞 this 💌Valentines💮 day evening: 👍 👎DO ❌️ NOT👍 👎 If you do your child 🧒 will be born 👏 a ♏SCORPIO♏
Now, why ❓️ don’t ❌️ we like Scorpio's♏?
For starters, “Scorpio” has 7️⃣ letters 🔠. 7️⃣ letters 🔠: 7️⃣ deadly ☠️ sins ✝️ 🙅♀ Now, what are the 7️⃣ deadly ☠️ sins? Wrath, Sloth, Gluttony, Envy 👏👏 Envy is associated with the color GREEN 💚 What else is green 💚? Marijuana. Just 1️⃣ more pothead in the world 🗺️. LAME.
Now where is pot 🍲 legal? Canada 🇨🇦, Washington, Colorado, Oregon, Alaska, airplane ✈️ bathrooms if the pilot’s 👨✈️ chill. And where can 🥫 planes ✈️ take you? California 🕶. And what’s on California’s state flag 🚩? A BEAR 🐻. Your child 🧒. Is gay 👨❤️👨.
We went and got half off valentines candy
Douglas Adams is the best when it comes to describe characters
they need to teach classes on Douglas Adams analogies okay
“He leant tensely against the corridor wall and frowned like a man trying to unbend a corkscrew by telekinesis.”
“Stones, then rocks, then boulders which pranced past him like clumsy puppies, only much, much bigger, much, much harder and heavier, and almost infinitely more likely to kill you if they fell on you.”
“He gazed keenly into the distance and looked as if he would quite like the wind to blow his hair back dramatically at that point, but the wind was busy fooling around with some leaves a little way off.”
“It looked only partly like a spaceship with guidance fins, rocket engines and escape hatches and so on, and a great deal like a small upended Italian bistro.”
“If it was an emotion, it was a totally emotionless one. It was hatred, implacable hatred. It was cold, not like ice is cold, but like a wall is cold. It was impersonal, not as a randomly flung fist in a crowd is impersonal, but like a computer-issued parking summons is impersonal. And it was deadly - again, not like a bullet or a knife is deadly, but like a brick wall across a motorway is deadly.”
And, of course:
“The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don’t.”
the one that will always stay with me is “Arthur Dent was grappling with his consciousness the way one grapples with a lost bar of soap in the bath,” i feel like that was the first time i really understood what you could do with words.
I will reblog this every time I see it because these are some of my favorite sentences in the English language.
I FUCKING LOVE DOUGLAS ADAMS, HITCHHIKER’S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY IS LIKE MY FAVORITE THING
I can’t believe you guys are forgetting:
“He was experiencing the aural equivalent of looking at a picture of two black silhouetted faces and suddenly seeing it as a picture of a white candlestick.”
the only person to say happy valentines day to me was the gay sugar daddy professor and he doesn’t count man i suck
