27. Astrophysicist, writer, artist. Michigan. Business inquiries: kaijunobiz@gmail.com
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#I was there #reporting on the shitshow #it was hilariousIn college I was in the Society of Physics Students and we were at a meeting and I announced that our events coordinator at a local school had died over winter break (he was like 80) and one of the member’s phones went off and he had,, as his text tone, an airhorn sound so as soon as I announced this dudes passing airhorns went off and it was the most offensive and hilarious thing I’d ever experienced
theworldsgreatestdetective0 asked:
It truly does Also may I say I really enjoy seeing your blog You’re a brilliant scientist and a hilarious person. At least the impressions I’m given from this blog indicate that. I’m still utterly delighted by the idea of you.
i know i’m biased because i’m 12 at heart and i think everything he does is funny but my little brother put together a last-minute “time traveler” costume for halloween which comprised solely of this homemade WW3 draft card and i think every single aspect of it is absolutely fucking hilarious
That pause 💀💀
I’m sorry, but this is hilarious.
Watching a Republican try to “Think” is like watching an extremely poorly built and designed android severely malfunctioning
AHAHAHA I needed this
I will never fail to cackle at this :D
Anonymous asked:
Fuck lmao
I have a burner app on my phone for reasons and ONE of the reasons is that my friend Jared thinks geese are hilarious (there’s a story behind it) and so every Wednesday at 3am I send him a different picture of geese and he doesn’t know it’s me because I’m using a burner number
*shows up 15 months late with starbucks* anyway here’s my vine compilation
Fuck, Millennials are fucking hilarious
I always feel better about youths after a good vine comp.
t-t-t-t-t-target!!!!!
“Do you speak any Japanese?”
“I’m Chinese I don’t speak any-”
“‘Cause if you do, I’ll sleep with you right now.”
“MITSUBISHI, TOYOTA”
“Bitch cone get me, not only is he ugly but his dishes talk!”
“Who you talking to Belle?”
“Uh… No one…. bitch that was his plate!”
date of origin: December 12th, 2015
So I learned my new favorite history fact in my AP US class today. It’s hilarious and goes a bit like this
In 1989, President Bush sent troops to Panama to capture the dictator and drug lord, Manuel Noriega. But Noriega had fled to (I had to look up the full name) the Apostolic Nunciature of the Holy See. The troops couldn’t exactly get in, so they surrounded the place and has to wait him out, or somehow force him out.
And it’s crazy how they did it.
The literal United States Navy SEALs did this
And it is real history
They blasted rock and roll music for days until he gave up
Apparently, Noriega only liked opera, so this annoyed him.
But it gets better.
The playlist was not only obnoxiously loud and obnoxiously American, it had a sense of irony.
Here are some highlights:
Danger Zone
Freedom Fighter
Gonna Tear Your Playhouse Down
Give It Up
I Fought the Law and the Law Won
If I Had a Rocket Launcher
Nowhere to Run
Panama
Paranoid
Prisoner of Rock and Roll
Rock and a Hard Place
Stay Hungry
They’re Coming to Take Me Away
This Means War
Wanted Dead or Alive
And my personal favorite, and a thing that actually happened:
Never Gonna Give You Up
I just…
Imagine the board meeting
“Huh, how are we going to force this guy out of hiding?”
“Oh, I have an idea! Why don’t we blast loud rock music?”
“That just might work! And we should do it with a sense of irony, just to make it funnier!”
WHO NAMED THIS OPERATION
story time: i taught my little cousin her first longer word when she was very young. i taught her to say “tax benefits”. and to this day my aunt still doesn’t know where she got it from, but it was a hilarious sight to see a little toddler waddling around the house, wearing a big diaper, all the while yelling “TAX BENEFITS!!!!”
My parents did this with me and “nuclear disarmament”.
I taught my little brother to say “micro-surgical vasectomy reversal” (saw it on a billboard) on a road trip, and he didn’t stop saying it for literal years.
My parents taught me to chant “Get your laws off our bodies!” for a pro-choice rally when I was like four and I went to preschool and taught all the other kids the chant and led them on a mini-parade around the playground and the teachers were like ?????????? ?????????? ????????????
whenever my brother threw a tantrum as a baby my parents would chant “live free or die” until he calmed down it was fuckin weird
when i was a kid whenever we got stuck in traffic my dad would say “what the fuck?!?” in a very comic voice and i would repeat it and then he would say it with a slightly different inflection and i would repeat that too and so forth and so basically my poor mother would be stuck in standstill traffic listening to her husband and 4 yr old daughter swearing at each other without end
i’m a preschool teacher and we like to joke around using radical vocabulary with the children, the other day i overheard one kid say ‘this is my truck’ and the other one said ‘no, this truck belongs to the collective’; they all say it now
That last one.
This is too good not to reblog.
I think I’m hilarious
story time: i taught my little cousin her first longer word when she was very young. i taught her to say “tax benefits”. and to this day my aunt still doesn’t know where she got it from, but it was a hilarious sight to see a little toddler waddling around the house, wearing a big diaper, all the while yelling “TAX BENEFITS!!!!”
My parents did this with me and “nuclear disarmament”.
I taught my little brother to say “micro-surgical vasectomy reversal” (saw it on a billboard) on a road trip, and he didn’t stop saying it for literal years.
My parents taught me to chant “Get your laws off our bodies!” for a pro-choice rally when I was like four and I went to preschool and taught all the other kids the chant and led them on a mini-parade around the playground and the teachers were like ?????????? ?????????? ????????????
whenever my brother threw a tantrum as a baby my parents would chant “live free or die” until he calmed down it was fuckin weird
when i was a kid whenever we got stuck in traffic my dad would say “what the fuck?!?” in a very comic voice and i would repeat it and then he would say it with a slightly different inflection and i would repeat that too and so forth and so basically my poor mother would be stuck in standstill traffic listening to her husband and 4 yr old daughter swearing at each other without end
i’m a preschool teacher and we like to joke around using radical vocabulary with the children, the other day i overheard one kid say ‘this is my truck’ and the other one said ‘no, this truck belongs to the collective’; they all say it now
