“There’s a customer coming, they’re afraid of dogs. Quickly, the customer is coming. Quick, the customer is coming. Tengheng, you go bring the little baby in as well. Go get Baby. Okay, okay, put them down… put. Good. Let Baby have some of this. Let Baby eat some.” (The cat’s name would be similar to something like Baby, Bubba, or Darling – an endearment used as a given name.)

I once stayed at a B&B in Scotland that had 3 of these beasts. On the booking form it said “must like dogs”. What it didnt tell you was “you will open the door to your room in the morning and the dog will be looking eye to eye with you”

I really need these dogs in my life today

Took my cats to the vet once and one of these dudes was in the waiting room. It was like a  6 foot tall man had decided to lay on the floor and sprawl out his limbs. 

When I was a little kid, I attended a religious school mostly staffed by nuns. One nun told us that they had a dog at their convent-thingie. Being a classroom full of 4/5 years old, we immediately embarked on a campaign to have the dog come visit us. The nun said she’d ask, but she was sure it’d be fine because he was a very sweet doggie, and we were just a little private school.

Cue a bunch of delighted children playing with the biggest dog ever, and an equally delighted giant dog.

Cue the principal, who was not one of the nuns, walking in and saying, “Jesus H. Christ!”

I have a great dane, I need one of these too!