they got out of the car with flashlights and walked the road and one of them in in the front yard now. they didn’t hit anything what are they doing??

hold the fuck up dudes there’s some shit going down hold up

okay okay hold on one of the guys lives down the street okay I feel a lot better now bc i know him

they came to the house so i grabbed one of my dads handguns and hid it in my waistband and when i answered the door the neighbor guy was asking for my dad but its just me here and okay all 3 of them looked SHOOK and they were like “uh there was some skinny naked dude running around in the road can we use the landline to call 911” bc theres no cell service out here and what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck

they described the guy as having shoulder length bleach blonde hair and that’s what one of the neighbors across the street looks like so i tried calling them and no one answered and so i called dad and he’s on his way home

911 is going to come by and sweep the woods

the police still haven’t shown up and okay dad just got home and was like “you hit him???” and neighbor dude was like “no???????” and dad was like “your car’s been hit” and so we all went and looked and the truck they parked in the road has been PROPER fucked by something like it’s been hit by something one of the headlights is in the ditch now and it’s leaking antifreeze but that doesn’t make sense bc no one’s been down this road it’s a dirt backroad and no one’s been down it since they turned the truck off and none of us heard anything hit it??????? i am freaked the FUCK out right now i am shaking so bad we’re waiting in the house for the police 

ALSO I JUST REALIZED there’d be skid marks if the truck was hit right??? there werent any. there werent any fucking skid marks oh my god

AN officer showed up and you could tell he was super apprehensive to search the woods alone after seeing the truck and hearing what happened so neighbor guy got his rifle out of his truck and dad grabbed one of his rifles and i still have the handgun and we’re preparing to search the woods because i do not want to be in the house alone and fuck my adrenaline is pumping and im worried because if it is my neighbor???? he’s a friend of the family??? and like what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck

we were out there for like 30 minutes and we found a trail of bare footprints and like broken branches and stuff like someone came stumbling through and there was one stick near the end of the trail that had broken and it had blood on the end of it and then the footprints just fucking stop. like there weren’t any trees within jumping distance or anythigng and the footprints just fuckign stopped and like every thign was dead silent the wind had stopped there weren’t any coyote noises or anythig it was just completely dead quiet and we got the fuckout of there because like it was so creepy and we went back to the house the blonde guy owns and his car wasn’t even there he’s not even home no one’s home im freakign the fuck out because who was it then

the police officer left and was like “just call if you see him again” and the neighbor and his two dudes left and its just me and dad now and its like eerily quiet in the house because honestly what the fuck… what the fucking fuck was that.., he said after he calms down a minute he’s gonna try to call our neighbor again and after that call the neighbors sister to see if she knows where he is

oh and yeah yeah they were able to start up the truck and they drove it home and they’re gonna take it in to a shop in the morning to see if anyone could figure out what the fuck happened to it

dad got ahold of his sister and he’s in fucking massachusetts visiting family for the holidays who was that in the fucking road

Okay okay when we woke up in the morning both of us has weird scratches on our arms and hands and i even had one on my nose that were like all bloody and like it couldn’t have been the woods because we wore coats and gloves????????? and neither of us have blood under our fingernails?? and we went and looked out where the truck was and there was nothing of note that we missed in the dark but when we went to find the trail again it was just gone. it hadn’t snowed or rained or anything and the stick with the blood was gone??? like someone came back and just took it?? what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck

Nakie blond dude is the demogorgon

Nakey Nakey Man is now a #confirmed cryptid: http://cryptidz.wikia.com/wiki/Nakey_Nakey_Man

OH MY GOD someone made a blog for nakey nakey man @nakeynakeyman

This was my magnum opus

I wanna talk about this a little because it DID start out with a kernel of truth, but also my doctors had put me on baby’s first antidepressant like a week prior and I was extremely manic and this whole thing just kinda spilled out of me in an effort to entertain and just… get some creativity out, I guess. BUT. the first two entries on this thread are true. Some neighbors stopped off in front of my house to look around- but it was for a lost cow that had gotten out of the pasture. After that point it’s all fantasy. BUT I am very proud of this piece mainly because it was a sort of proto ARG before I had even started like, actually intentionally making them. And while the punctuation and grammar are HORRENDOUS in this thread, I remember intentionally making it like that to have it come across as more rushed and panicked and boy did it WORK. As unconventional this whole piece is, it does a very good job at serving its purpose, to entertain, to give chills, to communicate what a modern day cryptid encounter might look like. And I had a LOT of fun writing it and seeing people’s reactions. Thank you, for playing along.