Jimmy Kimmel: Mean Tweets
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A few years ago I made a post about how we were entering a period of micromemes. Memes that only lasted a few days/weeks. Meme production over the last few years has only increased to the point of there being a new meme a few times a week. Meme production will increase, quicker and quicker into infinity. I warned against the dangers of a meme singularity. I fear that soon, the meme singularity (memeularity) will be upon us. Every meme will exist within each other into infinity. It’s already happening. Meme fusion is just a cheap tactic to make micromemes seem stronger. We will soon be splicing memes into an unrecognizable mutant disaster. The memepocalypse is upon us. I tried to warn you.
[captions]
Oscar: [reading tweet] “ ‘Oscar Isaac is a Brooklyn hipster piece of [censored beep] and I’m gonna fight him.’ [audience laughs offscreen] [as himself, to the camera] Sounds like a really well-adjusted human being.”
that hozier tweet going around that's like "never got that ride to church" is fake (obviously, it doesn't sound like him at all) and honestly i'm offended on hozier's behalf bc he is so much funnier than that
here are just a few selections from my "hozier tweets" tag:
please appreciate this man
Hmmmmmm blah follow my twitter pls I will give u a single sinflower seed twitter.com/SpaceMomJess
Cis people being upset about trans people saying “down with cis” are just so…
Like oh, you’re upset about a meme? That’s cool. Maybe tell your fellow cishets to stop killing trans people while you’re over there complaining to them about it
then why is it ok for trans people to make jokes or memes about cis people but its not ok for cis people to make jokes/memes about trans people
Because you’re not oppressed. You don’t have to worry about getting killed for being trans. You wont be denied a job or get beat up in the fucking bathroom. Your parents wont kick you out of the house for being trans. Your parents wont make you go to conversion therapy or abuse you for being trans.
And they get this one thing, right? They get this safe space on the internet where they can vent and be themselves and make jokes. ONE FUCKING THING.
But nooooooooo they ain’t allowed to have fuckin jokes because it hurts yalls feelings
Grow up.
POPE TWITTER IS FUCKING POPPIN
things heat up in the jesus fandom
SWEET POTATOES YES. I adore Fr. Martin.
Looked into it, and it’s real. Not only that, but if you look at his twitter account, he made some more awesome tweets that day that make me really happy to be a Catholic. I’ll include screenshots and text versions of them below.
It saddens me that a #trans student cannot choose what bathrooms to use. A basic need. It’s an affront to their dignity as human beings.
And who is harmed by a #trans student using a bathroom? I’ve seen women using men’s rooms when the ladies’ rooms were full. Who is harmed?
As usual, the one who is made to suffer indignities is the one on the margins, the one seen as “other,” the one seen as “them.”
But for Jesus, there is no “other.” There is no “them.” There is only “us.” So we must be about openness, acceptance and inclusion. #trans
Who should stand with the marginalized, the mocked, the bullied, the confused, the outcast, the minority? The Christian should. #trans
Because Jesus did.
His Facebook post that day says something similar: Who should stand with the marginalized, the mocked, the bullied, the outcast, the confused, the hurt? Who should stand with the one seen as “different,” the one seen as “other,” the one seen as “them”? Who should stand with people who often stand alone? The Christian should. Because Jesus did.
This is how the positive versions of Christianity work.
We’re really at this point of the dystopia, huh
I thought this was a joke but wow no Trump really actually did threaten to shut down Twitter because it “silences conservative voices,” a claim inspired by the fact that Twitter attached a fact-check to a couple of his tweets.
ELON MUSK'S GRAND PLAN FOR TWITTER
- Buy it for billions of dollars
- Be so surrounded by crypto and NFT shills and yes men that you start to see Twitter's ordinary users as the real bots
- Scrap the site's pre-existing bot programs bc you were mad a report showed that the site didn't have as much of a bot problem as you thought
- Make impersonation trivial, and let everyone who pays you $5 have all their tweets boosted no matter what
- Make the site a barely functional husk run by a skeleton crew and reduce moderation in the name of free speech
- Have your site flooded with bots, impersonators, and spam
- ???
- Make them pay you $1 as a effort to fix spam, even though most of them already paid $5 for the checkmark that incentivized them to spam
Genius. The real Tony Stark. A pioneer on par with the Wright brothers and Zefram Cochrane. Where do I sign up for my One-Way Ticket to Mars NFT
I love how he's obsessed with fixing bots on Twitter, but not just fixing it, he has to fix it.
A normal person buying a company would react to a report saying the site's bot problem isn't as bad as expected with "oh, great, that frees up resources we don't have to allocate there". He reacted by firing the staff responsible in anger, bc if there weren't millions of bots for him to ban, spending all that money would be a waste. This is the management style of a guy who demands a rescue team ditch their equipment to use his sub midway through, and who said he could fix world hunger then rejected an itemized list of what he could spend money on to end some world hunger bc it wouldn't fix all of it
When Elon bought Twitter, he was given a report saying the bot problem wasn't as bad as he thought. He fired the people responsible and started declaring that he would solve the bot problem
Today, the majority of traffic on Twitter is now bots
ALTIt all makes sense, though, when you realize Elon is not only really stupid and bad at everything, but also he didn't even realize the bots on Twitter were bots, bc of course someone who surrounds himself with crypto shills was going to end up seeing the site's normal users as the suspect ones
He literally ran the site into the ground due to an obsessive need to "fix the bot problem", and he ended up creating the worst bot problem in the history of social media, over 73% worse than the next-worst site. And that's before you consider the possibility that big brain genius Elon Musk is trying to fix Twitter's ad revenue problem by making bots that engage with ads. Incredible
Fave part of this, from the story itself, is that the cybersecurity firm monitoring this almost refused to publish the data, bc they didn't believe it could really be that bad
Apparently, before he did all this, the number of bots last year at the same time was...2.81%. That was the number Elon was desperate to fix, and he turned 2% into 75%